Okay, one of my roommates, she moved back to Nova Scotia and we got a new one today, we had small talk," hi, how are you?  where you from?"  stuff like that, anyways she is going to the university here and she had a bunch of friends over, 3 girls and a guy, and they wanted to play this game and they needed another person so they asked me, I was like "sure", so we play and I'm being me, throwing the F bomb around a bit, but not a lot. Anyways half way through the game, I just made the comment that I curse A lot and I hope you're not Mormon, and My new roommate said, "no. we're all Christian", and now there was about 2 min of silence cause I felt like the biggest asshole, I apologized for my language but they just laughed and said it was c0ol, they curse all the time, but for that 2 min of silence was very awkward, I had no idea what was going on through there minds cause I threw in a few graphic sexual comments as well.  After my roommate's friends left I apologized again for my Language and said I hope I didn;t scare your friends away, but she said they thought it was very funny, I guess the look on my face was Hilarious and she said it was all c0ol.

I was just wondering if anyone else has been in a really awkward situation.

My story isn't so much awkward as it is me being a douche, resulting in a seriously awkward 10 minutes.

One day, I was at the mall with my family and cousins.  My older cousin had just had a child so she was carrying her around while I was pushing the empty stroller.  I didn't know how much money was on my debit card so I told everyone to wait while I walked into the bank to check, still pushing the stroller for reasons I've forgotten over the years(this happened like 3-4 years ago).  On my way in, I passed a mentally-challenged older woman who I knew from my high school because she was always in the field doing tai-chi or something like that.  Well, as I was walking towards her she asked, "Hey, where did your baby go?" and because I'm the kind of person who won't turn down a chance at a funny reponse, I acted shocked and responded with, "Oh no, I must of lost her."  Her eyes went wide and she's like, "We have to go look for her!" and I responded, "I have to see how much money I have, I'll look after.  Don't worry about it." and she started freaking and shouting to everyone "Has anyone seen a lost baby around here?!" and people started to take notice and I quickly realized that I had taken this way too far.  I quickly told her that my cousin had the baby, but she wouldn't believe me and kept on shouting.  Finally she stopped and left and I breathed a sigh of relief and said "Jesus Christ..." a little too loud and when I looked up, everyone was shooting daggers out of their eyes at me.  Now what makes this story awkward is that I realized that I still needed to see how much money I had so I actually waited in line with all the people and needless to say, I wasn't Mr. Popular.  I don't go to that bank very much anymore.  I think some of the tellers still remember me there.

Well, there's my story.  If by some crazy coincidence that lady ends up reading this and remembers me, I apologize.  I was kind of a dick in my early teens.

No offence to anyone in Dallas for what I'm about to tell you - remember that.

Many years ago and about a year after we moved to California from New Jersey, my partner and I (both born and bred Yankees) went on our first exotic holiday to Hawaii.  We stayed at this great condo on Kauai and it had a big pool and a jacuzzi.

One night while we were sitting in the jacuzzi and this young couple joined us, they were on their honeymoon.  We chatted for a short while and then in the thickest Texan accent the girl said "I'm from Dallas but all my friends say I don't sound like it".

My partner and I went into hysterics.  It was such a bad laughing fit that neither of us could explain to them, in a serious way, why were were laughing and even if we could they would probably never forgive us.  The  couple left quite quickly after that.  Needless to say, they avoided us for the rest of their stay.

Holy crap, where to start?

I remember this one time, I kissed this girl because I thought she liked me. =O As you can probably tell by the simple fact that I am writing this post right now, she didn't. She didn't push me away though so I'm not totally regretful it happened. We agreed that it was a misunderstanding and we keep avoiding each other 'til this very day. Now everytime I walk past her and her friends I feel like a total ass-clown (you know how girls talk).

And another time was when I was like eight or seven years old. My five year-old cousin was complaining to me about how one of his kindergarten teachers was so mean to him. He was a good kid, never did anything wrong.

So I told him to tell her...well, some words that he shouldn't have said. Obviously, I said it as a joke, but I wasn't aware that kids his age were quite influenced by their older cousins. Imagine my surprise  when my mom and my aunt came in yelling at me because my cousin "verbally-attacked" a teacher thanks to me. I felt really embarassed but we all laugh at it today, even the teacher. His mom was the school principal, so he didn't get into much trouble.

His exact words were--"Listen, you old hag. My mom is your boss and that means I own you, slut."

I know what I did was wrong but I still can't help but laugh everytime I hear the story.

There's another one that I can't quite remember at the moment. So yeah, I've had my share of awkward moments.

--Julio

Dunno how this one measures up, but this is something that happened a few years ago during my town's festival week where a lot of foreigners come and get drunk, especially Brits. And when I get something to drink I like to put on an accent and pretend I'm either English, Irish or Australian in front of the ladies (I make up a whole backstory as I go).

So I'm English this evening and I'm asking for directions and I see these two really cute girls and I ask them to direct me to a place I know every local knows and they buy it and everything's going great. Until two girls from my elementary school that I hadn't seen in years suddenly pop up and yell in Danish "Hi Troels!" (TJ stands for Troels Jacob).

For like literally 15 seconds I just froze and stared at them. I tried to think of a lie, but I was hesitating for too long. The girls were getting confused and my face was getting red. Then just like that I bolt without a word! I sprint down the street doding patrons left and right and never look back.

I never did see the two girls from school again.

I can't handle awkward situations at all. It's why I can't watch Curb your Enthusiasm.

Alright.. Here's mine.

I've been taking German classes to speak.. well.. German. There was these two cute girls that have just arrived to our school.. my friend who sits by me in Math Class told me that the two new girls were German. I decided to be cool, and spring out my two years of German classes at them. This was the worst idea I ever thought of.

For the rest of the day, I was looking for them. I got out of sixth period class, heading to the last period of the day: Seventh. I found them standing, talking to each other by the portables. Where I was heading. I quickly ran over to them and asked "Do you understand English?". "Some" they replied back with. I then whipped out "So.. how do you like the school? Must be hard to move to an entirely new country". in German. I found it strange that they wouldn't reply back, and that they'd look at each other confused like. I knew something was wrong.. but I kept talking in German. Hoping that they'd understand sooner or later. But nope... they just kept looking at me retarded like. So. I sighed, and continued. Maybe I was bad at pronunciation? Nope.. they still wouldn't reply back.

As I continued, they still looked at me retarded, and my face was becoming incredibly red. Then I said (In English) "You aren't German." They shook there heads no. "Were French!" one of them said. I felt like a complete dumbass.

So me an one of my freinds have had this running gag between us for a long time now.  Basically what we do, is sneak up behind one another, and find a way to scare the other person.

So one time at lunch, I was sneaking up behind her as she was at the condiment table, getting little packets of ketchup and stuff.  So I quickly reach my hand over her shoulder, grab a handfull of mayo packets, and shove them in her face.  Turns out it wasn't her, but just some random girl.



I think I win.

This is embarrassing opposed to awkward.
About 10 years ago, I was working with a female intern journalist from a local college.  I sent her out to preview the Walter Matthau/Jack Lemmon film "Out to Sea."  She was a capable writer and I never had a problem with her stories, so I was confident she would do a good job.
Anyway, the girl types up her review and because I was in a rush, I failed to edit her work.
When the newspaper came out, we started getting irate calls from readers.  One old man contacted the intern directly and tore her a new one over the phone. She was in tears. I figured big deal, her review rubbed some people the wrong way.
Then she points out the faux pas.  
She wrote "... Matthau plays a first-class prick on a cruise ship..."  
I was like WTF.     "Why did you use the P word?"
"Because that's what somebody called him in the movie."  
"What do you think the word means?" I inquired.
"Doesn't it mean Jerk?"
Uhhhhh...not in our paper.  

I remember a time (almost 20 years ago) when me and a buddy went down to the local video store to rent a couple of movies and while down there, we bump into this guy from our school. We weren't tight with him so we just said our hellos and how are yous and got back to looking for a movie.

Then, perfect as I am, I picked up a cover and I made some wiseass crack to my buddy about the guy on the cover's nose (it was pretty big). My buddy didn't laugh though and I was like WTF.

So I turned around and I only then did I remember that the other guy from our school had this big Karl Malden x 2 nose, I mean a totally biological disaster. He'd heard me joking around and he was like laughing but not really laughing. I was like...shit, me and my big mouth. But he was cool about it though (unless he ran home and cried in his bed - which I'm not ruling out).

Not my finest hour.

Lol, flyboy. Make them read "Spoiled" the next time.