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Above copyright, near Nottingham, arrowhead car.... hello Robin Hood story lol
Is it my eyes or does the font become lighter halfway down page 2? It's not important obviously, but I sat there for a good 2 minutes moving my eyes closer and further away from the screen.
Well written, visual, a futuristic take on the Robin Hood character - Not too bad for a weekends work. The saw is not exactly pivotal to the story, but I'll let it slide... it's the end of the tournament and we are all tired lol
I doubt it will be one my favourites, but certainly shouldn't be among the worst
Two futuristic yuppies are waylaid by modern-day merry men and Robin Hood. Excellent story that’s very entertaining. I liked the characters and dialogue, but the merry men shouldn’t be so merry. While Robin steals Eric’s credits with a modern holographic reader, he makes his men dismantle the hover car with old-fashioned saws. What’s up with that? Uneasy lies the head that wears the green baseball hat…
Last one of the five week challenge to read! Woo hoo!! I'm going to bed for three weeks after this.
So this one's a bit of a stretch for me. You have the parameters down, so good there. But the story is that you have a modern day Robin Hood stealing from rich people using 13th century equipment, other than the device to steal from the rich. I don't quite get that. And Robin Hood is a rather unsavory character, killing the guy as well as stealing his credits. Doesn't really make him a likeable character or one we can relate to -- and with only having five pages, you didn't have enough time to make Eric evil enough for us to want Robin to kill him. So my thought is, don't kill him, just have L'il John just force his hand onto the device and take it from him.
Not a bad go at it, just needs a little extra to make me care about what's happening.
Best of luck and congrats on finishing the challenge!
An utterly mediocre writer who somehow still falls bass ackwards into getting some of his scripts produced.
I'm not particularly sharp today, having been up since 3am, so I can't be bothered to edit the writing. I'm only actually reading this because the comments on the story interested me. I love adaptating and modernising old stuff... and I love satire.
Character names aside, there just isn't enough nods to the orginal to make this funny enough. For 72 hours work, it's barely passable... only because I like the premise. At the moment, the idea is there, the story isn't.
The writing tripped me up quite a few times and the font changing from light to dark in various places is distracting.