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SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board    Unproduced Screenplay Discussion    Action/Adventure Scripts  ›  American Geisha Moderators: bert
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  Author    American Geisha  (currently 2620 views)
Don
Posted: September 13th, 2004, 11:00am Report to Moderator
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So, what are you writing?

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American Geisha by Ron Keneske - Action, Comedy - Sandy Chen is a hardnose, martial arts expert, gun toting San Francisco feamle cop. She gets a lot of flak from her male partner cops about being, well to tomboyish, not feminine enough. Sandy is about to get a real make-over. She has just been assigned as a decoy in a big sting stake-out operation. She the tough nosed cop, will go undercover as a sweet submissive, feminine, girlish, Geisha?!! NO WAY!! Yes! She will try to entiice a mobster whom happens to have the hots for geisha girls into revealing to her all the mobs secret activities. Problem is the guy who she thinks is the mob boss is really only a dead ringer for the real crime kingpin. He is actually a chauvansitic ad salesman Jerry Conners. After a fake wedding is planned the happy couple Conners and Sandy in Geisha undercover disguise move in togteher. The stakeout team monitering thier every move. What ensues is a hilarious battle of the sexes. Things really heat up when the real mob boss shows up, wanting to kill the imposter Jerry, too make amtters worse, the mob bosses arch rival also shows up. Sandy must protect this ad salesman imposter and herself from getting killed in the crossfire of an all out gang war. After sucessfully completeing her mission Sandy and Jerry try to sort out their differences, which may be more diffacult than confronting the mob war. - html format.


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lesleyjl21
Posted: September 16th, 2004, 11:13pm Report to Moderator
Been around a while


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Whoa... I've never gotten exhausted just reading a logline?


true love waits... i guess.
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onegemini
Posted: June 2nd, 2005, 2:07pm Report to Moderator
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Yes, the logline is huge.  More of synopsis and that takes all of the "I want to read it" excitement out of me.  It also scares me off.  It feels like MISS CONGENIALITY in a lot of ways.  Next time, try a two line logline.  If it takes this much to read the logline, it says that reading the script will be a hassle.


Blair D. Shedd is a illustrator and writer.
A Semifinalist in the 2006 Nicholl Fellowships In Screenwriting, and currently a Quarterfinalist in the 2007 competition for the screenplay WAYWARD SON.
http://www.oneGemini.com -- oneGemini Studios, Illustration and Design
http://www.myspace.com/oneGemini -- Official oneGemini MySpace page and blog

"Life is a comedy to those who think, and a tragedy to those who feel."
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dogglebe
Posted: June 2nd, 2005, 2:31pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from Don
American Geisha by Ron Keneske - Action, Comedy - Sandy Chen is a hardnose, martial arts expert, gun toting San Francisco feamle cop. She gets a lot of flak from her male partner cops about being, well to tomboyish, not feminine enough. Sandy is about to get a real make-over. She has just been assigned as a decoy in a big sting stake-out operation. She the tough nosed cop, will go undercover as a sweet submissive, feminine, girlish, Geisha?!! NO WAY!! Yes! She will try to entiice a mobster whom happens to have the hots for geisha girls into revealing to her all the mobs secret activities. Problem is the guy who she thinks is the mob boss is really only a dead ringer for the real crime kingpin. He is actually a chauvansitic ad salesman Jerry Conners. After a fake wedding is planned the happy couple Conners and Sandy in Geisha undercover disguise move in togteher. The stakeout team monitering thier every move. What ensues is a hilarious battle of the sexes. Things really heat up when the real mob boss shows up, wanting to kill the imposter Jerry, too make amtters worse, the mob bosses arch rival also shows up. Sandy must protect this ad salesman imposter and herself from getting killed in the crossfire of an all out gang war. After sucessfully completeing her mission Sandy and Jerry try to sort out their differences, which may be more diffacult than confronting the mob war. - html format.


How could the police confuse a mob boss with an average schmoe?  Who did their investigations for them?  The three stooges?  Wouldn't they realize their mistake when he does absolutely nothing mob-like?  


In regards to a logline, try this:

A tough-as-nails cop must shed her tough image when she goes undercover as a geisha girl to get close to a mob boss.  Her assignment becomes jeopardized when she learns she's been getting close to the wrong guy.


Phil
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Redeemer
Posted: February 19th, 2006, 1:33pm Report to Moderator
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i'll break them down, no mercy shown

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This sorta sounds like a rejected idea for a Miss Congeniality sequel.
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