SimplyScripts Discussion Board
Blog Home - Produced Movie Script Library - TV Scripts - Unproduced Scripts - Contact - Site Map
ScriptSearch
Welcome, Guest.
It is August 6th, 2020, 6:47am
Please login or register.
Was PortalRecent PostsHome Help Calendar Search Register Login
If you wish to join this discussion board, please send me a message. Please do read the guidelines that govern behavior on the discussion board. It will make for a much more pleasant experience for everyone. A word about SimplyScripts and Censorship


Scripts Studios are posting for 2019 - 2020 award consideration
The Writer's Tournament is on!

Round 5 scripts are up!

Short Script of the Day | Featured Script of the Month | Featured Short Scripts Available for Production | Submit Your Script

How do I get my film's link and banner here?
All screenplays on the simplyscripts.com and simplyscripts.net domain are copyrighted to their respective authors. All rights reserved. This screenplaymay not be used or reproduced for any purpose including educational purposes without the expressed written permission of the author.
Forum Login
Username: Create a new Account
Password:     Forgot Password

SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board    Unproduced Screenplay Discussion    Action/Adventure Scripts  ›  Loud and Nasty Moderators: bert
Users Browsing Forum
No Members and 1 Guests

 Pages: « 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7 : All
Recommend Print
  Author    Loud and Nasty  (currently 11242 views)
TAnthony
Posted: April 30th, 2007, 10:49pm Report to Moderator
Been around a while


Never take your eyes off your opponent

Location
USA
Posts
164
Posts Per Day
0.03
Thanks Whacky, glad you liked it. I'll try my best to include your notes in my next draft.

Thanks!


"You wanna go to jail or you wanna go home? -- Training Day

All of my scripts on SimplyScripts
http://www.simplyscripts.com/cgi-bin/search.pl?search=Tanthony

Mayhem - Sci-Fi
Loud and Nasty - Action/Thriller
Down and Dirty (Sequel to L&N) - Action/Thriller
Fool's Gold - Western
Logged Offline
Private Message AIM Reply: 90 - 103
dogglebe
Posted: May 28th, 2007, 11:44am Report to Moderator
Guest User



I have three major problems with this script, which made it difficult to finish.  The first is that you use way too much dialogue.  Everyone just keeps talking and talking and talking and talking.  While some people may do this in real life, not everyone does.  In this script, everyone does.  Starting with the first page:


Quoted Text
The Strangers sits at the counter and the OWNER greets him.

OWNER
Hello sir. Can I help you?

The scar surprises the Owner, but he collects himself.

THE STRANGER
Yeah you can help me.

OWNER
What would you like?

THE STRANGER
Coffee. Black.


Why not just write it:



Quoted Text
The Strangers sits at the counter and the OWNER greets him.

OWNER
Hello sir. Can I help you?

The scar surprises the Owner, but he collects himself.

THE STRANGER
Coffee. Black.


In doing this, I trimmed five lines off your script.  It may not seem like much, but you can do this with every conversation in the script.  The conversation between Smooth and Cassandra (pages 87 through 89) could've been cut in half, if not more.

If you were to fit all the fat , this script would probably be about seventy pages long, maybe even less.  Some of your descriptions can also be trimmed down.


Next major problem I had was that you often describe things incorrectly.  The general rule is to describe things only as the camera can record them.


Quoted Text
Last is twenty-two year old SAMUEL. Samuel doesn't look right with the other men. He's young and out of place.



Quoted Text
MILES, Tucker's younger brother, sits on the steps of Tucker's house.



Quoted Text
He climbs into his car and turns the engine on. He stares through the windshield and out the windows.

He has no idea where he wants to go. Everyone he's ever loved is gone. He's by himself now. He drives off, with no particular destination.


How does Samuel look out of place with the others?  How do we know that Miles, is Samuel's younger brother?  IN regards to the last scene, all I see is a guy driving.


Third problem (and this is thte biggie) is that I didn't find any of your characters believeable.  For a bunch of thugs and gangsters, these guys sure are a bunch of pussies.


Quoted Text
    CASSANDRA
For such a cold-blooded, legendary,
notorious, gangster you sure are a
punk. Why're people scared of you?
It's not like you're going to hurt
them.


You go, Girlfriend!

In the first flashback, you have Tucker and Luther getting ambushed in the alley and Tucker's just saying, "here.  Take my money.  I don't want no trouble."  And he has $100K in cocaine on him.

When Pit Bull is talking with Miles, one of the girls interrupts, complaining about the lack of air conditioning.  And he just rolls over and takes it.  WTF!!!?.  And, btw, introduce a character like this:  He has the lame name of PIT BULL..  His name is Pit Bull.  Leave it at that.

Why would Tucker leave anyone standing after a shoot out (page 49)?

You keep saying that Tucker is a head gangster and that he's all tough, but I just don't see it.  No one respects a person who is trampled on by everyone.  And if he, somehow, made crime boss, everyone would be gunning for him for his job.

I wouldn't write anymore sequels to this until you go back and take care of these problems.


Phil
Logged
e-mail Reply: 91 - 103
TAnthony
Posted: May 29th, 2007, 7:17pm Report to Moderator
Been around a while


Never take your eyes off your opponent

Location
USA
Posts
164
Posts Per Day
0.03
Thanks for the review dogglebe.


Quoted from dogglebe
Third problem (and this is thte biggie) is that I didn't find any of your characters believeable.  For a bunch of thugs and gangsters, these guys sure are a bunch of pussies.


What I was trying to do, was show that Tucker waas beginning to get soft. So he slowly becomes more and more of a pushover. That's what I was attempting to write. That's why Cassandra says what she says, because she starts to notice it.

Thanks again.



"You wanna go to jail or you wanna go home? -- Training Day

All of my scripts on SimplyScripts
http://www.simplyscripts.com/cgi-bin/search.pl?search=Tanthony

Mayhem - Sci-Fi
Loud and Nasty - Action/Thriller
Down and Dirty (Sequel to L&N) - Action/Thriller
Fool's Gold - Western
Logged Offline
Private Message AIM Reply: 92 - 103
dogglebe
Posted: May 29th, 2007, 7:28pm Report to Moderator
Guest User




Quoted from TAnthony
What I was trying to do, was show that Tucker waas beginning to get soft. So he slowly becomes more and more of a pushover. That's what I was attempting to write. That's why Cassandra says what she says, because she starts to notice it.


You showed him being a pushover in the first flashback.  I got the impression that he was never tough.  And Pit Bull was a pushover when the prostitute started bitching to him.


Phil

Logged
e-mail Reply: 93 - 103
Dethan
Posted: June 23rd, 2007, 2:11am Report to Moderator
New-ish



Posts
91
Posts Per Day
0.02
Pages 1-20

Plot:
The plot is revenge with THE STRANGER wanting to kill Tucker. The hook is we donít know why yet.  So that keeps us reading, good job.

Characters:
The Stranger is still underdeveloped here. Tucker isnít what I expect from a gang leader.  He seems like a wimp.

Structure:
The flashback with Luther feels misplaced.  It is like Tucker is telling this story to the three guys in the car.  And I doubt those 3 would give a damn.

Also you should probably show a scene with just Sam & Tucker so that we get a feeling for their relationship.  That way we feel bad with Tucker when He gets capped.

Pages 20-40
Plot:
At this point the story is scattered.  You introduced The Stranger then ignored him for the next 30+ pages.  Then you added 2-3 too many subplots. And a second major story arc done in Flashbacks.

Character:
You got a good sense of establishing character through dialogue. But there are so many that I keep mixing them up anyway. Iím not sure if I sympathize with Tucker... all these people using him, Iím hoping he shoots a few.

Flashback:
The flashback story arc is more clear then the main story arc.  We know what the motivation is: Get money to pay Toothpick for the drug deal gone bad.  It is short.  Focused.  Easy to remember. It has a purpose. But the V.O. Should probably go.

Pages 40-60
Plot:
It picks up here.  You should move the killing of Zack scene 5-10 pages earlier.  They donít need to find the body till later.

Anyway, now that it is more focused: Find The Stranger.  The story is moving at a clip.  Much more enjoyable to read.  I keep waiting for one of the people he lets off to get out a gun and try to kill him.

Characters:
Iím still a little loop warm on most of the characters. I think the stories of a young Tucker, the one of legend, would be more interesting then this.  That and people donít normally go soft without a reason.  You donít give us a reason for him going soft.

Pages 60-80

PLOT:
Goes south fast.  The pit bull thing seems added on to add false danger then it goes by so fast you donít really care. Except for the fact that theyíre screwed no matter what now.  The story might as well end here.  We all know it is going to end badly for everyone invovled.

Pages 80-end
First you can lose the entire Fat-boy scene and the prostitute interrogation.  We donít need to see that.  It doesnít move the main story forward and it doesnít illuminate the main character.  It is a waste of space.  Fat-boy showing up at the end would then be a surprise. Or have Slick call.  Either way.

I donít really need the Luther back story flashbacks either.  You could probably put the entire Luther/Tucker history into the dialogue somewhere near the beginning of the script. Itíd give Tucker a nice confessional moment and weíd feel for him more early on.

The end was anti-climatic. And, despite the overly long and dramatic final flashback, it ends abruptly.

Final thoughts:
You write good dialogue sequences.  It made this pretty easy to read.  I liked the opening drug deal with Fizzy, Samuel, and everyone in the hotel room. The opening scene in the diner was great. It hooked me in early. You need more Stranger early and fewer flashbacks.  

If I were to give you Heavy handed advice, Iíd say cut the flashbacks down.  Give Tucker a more legendary feel.  Instead of people just saying heís a legend, have them tell tales of why heís a legend. Like ďDidnít you hear about him shooting off someones balls?Ē

Overall, a pretty good effort.


Logged Offline
Private Message Reply: 94 - 103
TAnthony
Posted: June 26th, 2007, 5:49pm Report to Moderator
Been around a while


Never take your eyes off your opponent

Location
USA
Posts
164
Posts Per Day
0.03
Thanks for the review Dethan. I think my next draft coming up is a great improvement on this one. I moved up the death of Zach earlier and tweaked the end a little. I think the main story is a lot more clear too.

Thanks again!


"You wanna go to jail or you wanna go home? -- Training Day

All of my scripts on SimplyScripts
http://www.simplyscripts.com/cgi-bin/search.pl?search=Tanthony

Mayhem - Sci-Fi
Loud and Nasty - Action/Thriller
Down and Dirty (Sequel to L&N) - Action/Thriller
Fool's Gold - Western
Logged Offline
Private Message AIM Reply: 95 - 103
TAnthony
Posted: June 27th, 2007, 11:27pm Report to Moderator
Been around a while


Never take your eyes off your opponent

Location
USA
Posts
164
Posts Per Day
0.03
Thanks Don for getting the update up!

In this draft a lot of scenes have been re-ordered so that main conflict is set-up earlier. Some scenes have been taken out and new ones have been added.

Thanks.


"You wanna go to jail or you wanna go home? -- Training Day

All of my scripts on SimplyScripts
http://www.simplyscripts.com/cgi-bin/search.pl?search=Tanthony

Mayhem - Sci-Fi
Loud and Nasty - Action/Thriller
Down and Dirty (Sequel to L&N) - Action/Thriller
Fool's Gold - Western
Logged Offline
Private Message AIM Reply: 96 - 103
aurorawriter
Posted: July 6th, 2007, 9:00pm Report to Moderator
New-ish


Write it!

Location
CA
Posts
24
Posts Per Day
0.00
Part 1 of 2 (my response was too long!)

Hi Tyler,

I finished reading Loud and Nasty.  My thoughts are below.  I think you have a very clean, readable style.  I think you need to work on the structure of your story, and Iíve included detailed notes below.  Donít get discouraged Ė I know you just did a rewrite, but story structure is the absolute hardest part of screenwriting.  Even professional writers go through dozens of rewrites, sometimes, to get the story right.  Read as many scripts as you can.  And since you seem to prefer action, watch lots of action movies and really analyze them.  Rent Die Hard and Lethal Weapon and every well-written action film and really try to break them down into their story elements Ė youíll learn more than you can imagine.  Most of all, keep writing!

Best,

Aimee


pp. 1-10     This is the first script Iíve read here that had truly efficient descriptions.  Itís readable and thereís lots of white space.  Good work on that!

Iím a bit confused about what kind of person Tucker really is.  On the one hand, heís presented as someone to be feared.  On the other hand, he seems downright genial compared to the guys working for him.  It can be good to have characters with contradictory traits, but you only have one chance to make a first impression on a reader.

p. 13  If YOUNG TUCKER is young enough to be played by a different actor (itís not clear from this) then you need to give him a separate character tag to differentiate.  If itís the same actor, then itís fine as is.

p. 17  I donít think you need the parenthetical to tell us that Tuckerís aggravated.  It seems pretty obvious to me that he is.  However, Iíd keep the one for Miles, since that line could be delivered more than one way in that situation.

p. 21  The dialogue here strikes me as being a little ďon the nose.Ē  Like when Tucker says, ďYeah I do.  Iíve been so afraid to admit it, but I do.Ē  I get the sense that he means exactly what heís saying.  Thereís no subtext.  I took Robert McKeeís seminar a few years back, and he said something that always stuck with me: if the scene is about what the scene is about, youíre dead.  This scene needs to be about something else Ė about Tuckerís relationship with Cassandra or something.

p. 22  So now we come back to the Stranger.  The problem I have here is that Iím not sure what this storyís about.  If itís about the Stranger getting revenge, then I think you need more of him.  If itís about Tucker going soft, then maybe the answer is to start the script with Tucker instead of with the stranger.

p. 23  For me, the Strangerís voice-over is not really working here.  I donít understand what he means when he says that Tuckerís death will be loud, or why thatís supposed to be scary.  Maybe it just seems a bit too stylized to really be menacing Ė do you know what I mean?

p. 24  This is more of an ongoing note.  There are quite a few places where the dialogue is missing commas and stuff like that.  You can dismiss this as English major (and yes, I was one!) nitpicking, but the truth is itís a pacing thing.  For example, take Rockyís dialogue: ďCall me or sumthin don't just knock on the door! You stupid? Is that it you stupid or sumthin?Ē  An actor will most likely deliver that with a pause after the first Ďsumthiní and with another one after the second Ďstupid.í  But when you leave out the commas, it reads very flat and it doesnít work.  I would recommend reading all of your dialogue out loud.  Get a friend or something to do it with you, and divvy up the parts.  I write with my husband, and we read all of our scripts out loud.  It really helps identify stuff like that.  If a line sounds wrong, take a look at it and figure out why.  Your script will get exponentially better if you do.

p. 29  Okay, I should have a clear idea right now what the story is, and I donít.  I suspect that the flashbacks are somehow connected to whatever it was that Tucker did to the Stranger, but I donít know that for sure.  Structurally, I think this is a little muddled.

pp. 29-31  Iím not sure how the stuff with Miles and Pit Bull fits into the story.  Subplots should always be related to the main plot.  Iím also not really sure what your theme isÖ

p. 49  Just a note that Iím still not sure what the story is, and to me, that means your story doesnít have a strong spine.  I donít know what Tucker wants.  Iím not sure how the flashbacks relate to the present.  I think your writing is solid, and that helps a lot.  But I really think you need to go back and restructure the story.  Before you start, you need to have a very clear idea of what your protagonist wants, whatís standing in his way, and how the storyís going to end.  You might check out some screenwriting books that focus on structure.  I think Blake Snyderís ďSave the CatĒ is very accessible, and a good one to start with.


Logged
Private Message Reply: 97 - 103
aurorawriter
Posted: July 6th, 2007, 9:01pm Report to Moderator
New-ish


Write it!

Location
CA
Posts
24
Posts Per Day
0.00
Part 2 of 2: (And Tyler, let me know if you have any questions!)

pp. 54-56 This should be where you have a midpoint complication.  Youíve got the right idea with Smooth and Cassandra getting caught together, but with Tuckerís goal so undefined, Iím not sure how it ties in.  Maybe if his goal was to get out of being a badass and settle down with Cassandra, then the idea of her cheating on him would have the weight it needs at this point in the story.  Again, I canít stress enough how important it is for it to be clear what your main character wants.

p. 56 Iím pretty sure that you do want your story to be about Tucker and whether or not heís gone soft.  That being the case, I think you need to be more subtle about it.  You definitely want to drop hints (especially if youíre setting up for a big, climactic battle with the Stranger, which I suspect you are) but having Miles flat out say to him, several times, that heís going soft, is too obvious.  Itís always better to show, than to tell.  Youíve got some good examples of Tucker maybe not being as brutal as he used to be (leaving the guy alive whoíd kidnapped Miles, etc.) and I donít think you need the dialogue.

p. 57 Okay, so with the note, here comes the Stranger again.  Thatís good, but I think that Tuckerís first inkling that someoneís coming after him needs to come a lot sooner.  Weíre more than halfway into the movie.  Thatís too late Ė an audience (or a reader) wonít wait around that long to figure out what the storyís about.  If the Strangerís your antagonist, then he needs to be a larger presence in the script.  Make him really menacing.  Make him a constant threat.  Oh, and *show* him killing Zach.  Give us some indication that itís not all that easy to take Zach out, and then show us how he did it.  That makes the threat so much more pervasive, and you want that in an action film.

pp. 58-59  I like the flashback with Rick.  Itís a good use of humor, which in a script with so much violence is a good idea.  It gives the audience a bit of a break.  Nice work.

p. 60  This is a minor thing, but you have Cassandra holding a briefcase full of her clothes.  A briefcase wouldnít hold very much Ė make it a suitcase.

p. 69  Just a note to be careful of typos.  You have quite a few of them, and they are distracting.  You describe Frankís face as ďscoldedĒ when I think you mean ďscalded,Ē and on this page you say that Pit Bull jumps up in a ďfurryĒ which I think should be ďflurry.Ē  Like with the dialogue, the best way to catch stuff like that is by reading out loud.  Spell check wonít help you with stuff like that (and I make that type of phonetic error all the time, too!), but reading it out loud will.

p. 70  If Tuckerís argument to Pit Bull is that Milesí debt is paid in full, he should say, ďMy brother repaid you the five grand he owed you, right?Ē or something like that.  By saying ďsome ofĒ youíre diluting his point.

p. 75  Again, you have the right idea by making things even harder on Tucker here.  Usually about ĺ of the way through the script, you want to have a real low point for the protagonist, when it seems like everything is lost.  But it needs to be integrally connected to the main story, and I donít really see that it is here.  Maybe if the Stranger were connected to Pit Bull, that could make it work.  But at this point I still donít know who the Stranger is, what Tucker did to him, or what (if any) connection he has to any of the other characters.  That needs to change for the story to have impact.

pp. 76-102  Again, I think you need to have some set-up to indicate that Luther might have a grudge.  I see now that there was a connection between the flashbacks and the present, but I think you need to give the audience/reader more information about it for it to really work.  As it is, they seem completely unconnected, and itís not until the last couple of pages that we even know that Luther might have a grudge.  Itís a fine line between giving away too much, too soon and holding back until itís too late.  Be careful, though, because itís unclear why Lutherís anger is focused on Tucker when Rickís the one who killed his wife and son.  Itís tough to have the audience care about a protagonist who would kill a mother and child, but if itís not Tucker who did it, why is Lutherís anger focused on him?


Logged
Private Message Reply: 98 - 103
mcornetto
Posted: July 7th, 2007, 5:27am Report to Moderator
Guest User



My review will look pitifully short after auroraís but here I go.

Overall, I liked this script.  It was full of unsavoury characters in a mystery like story.  Sometimes the writing was spot on, well done.  But at other times the dialogue was a bit on the nose and some of the action descriptions were a bit dry for my tastes.  Smoothing the writing is just a matter of more drafts.

I did notice that your formatting was wrong.  There should be at least a double space between the end of a scene and the next scene heading.  This script was single spaced and therefore is actually much longer than the page count advertised. For shame Taylor!

The stranger was an interesting enough character, though sometimes I found his dialogue to be a bit clumsy, especially at the beginning.  I realised right away that it was Luther.  I donít know whether or not you intended this so I thought I would mention it.   I thought this character could have played a bigger part in the story, given Tucker more problems and sooner.  And I thought his punishments could have better fit the crime, have him savour his revenge.  I thought sometimes the revenge killings were rushed.    

The main problem I had with Tucker, and all the characters in this story, was that they were not likeable. All of Tuckerís hemming and hawing about wanting out just made him seem weaker and more unlikeable IMHO.  None of the other characters even had anything remotely resembling redeeming qualities.

The main problem I had with the story was that it lacked focus.  I think you should cut a bunch of pages off this script.  Distil it down to its essential story.   I especially found the subplot between Smooth and Tucker's wife to be the most distracting, though the subplot with Miles was a close second.  Whether or not any of those subplots are necessary is up to you but I think you should try cutting them.

The ending of this story was not satisfying to me. Iím not certain how I would have preferred it to end, and I donít have any suggestions for you, but the ending presented didnít quite do it for me.

Good job Taylor.  

Michael  
Logged
e-mail Reply: 99 - 103
TAnthony
Posted: July 8th, 2007, 10:28pm Report to Moderator
Been around a while


Never take your eyes off your opponent

Location
USA
Posts
164
Posts Per Day
0.03
mcornetto - Thanks for the review! I'm still trying to figure out what I'm going to do with the ending.

aurorawriter - Thanks for the excellent review. I think I know now how I can really attack this script again. I'm going to pm a few questions your way. Thanks again! One of the best reviews I've gotten.


"You wanna go to jail or you wanna go home? -- Training Day

All of my scripts on SimplyScripts
http://www.simplyscripts.com/cgi-bin/search.pl?search=Tanthony

Mayhem - Sci-Fi
Loud and Nasty - Action/Thriller
Down and Dirty (Sequel to L&N) - Action/Thriller
Fool's Gold - Western
Logged Offline
Private Message AIM Reply: 100 - 103
dresseme
Posted: July 10th, 2007, 10:03am Report to Moderator
Guest User



Sorry for taking so long to get to your script; I had a few to get through beforehand.

I'm going to start off with being honest; I didn't care for the script.  Which is odd, because I remember "Down & Dirty" being a lot better.  If I had to pick one to concentrate on, I'd pick D&D; because it really is a stand-alone movie.  I didn't really see a lot of connections between the two.

First off, I couldn't stand the flashbacks.  I didn't like the voice over, and I didn't like how you cued the flashbacks.  It seemed like almost everytime one came it was cued.  That's the beauty of film; you don't have to cue them.  You can confuse your audience a bit, let them figure it all out.

Second, Tucker is not bad ass.  He's a "legend", but I don't see why.  Yeah, he shoots a lot of people, but so does everyone else.  You need to make him stand out.  Because as far as I can tell, he's the one with a lot of feelings/emotions, always second guessing himself.  If you're going to make him badass, you have to be relentless.

Third, don't mention Luther's "sick kid" so much.  It seems like you bring it up over 10 times.  Tucker even stops at one point and says something like "Your kid still sick?"  Of course he is!

(Side Note:  Take out Rick's line "I'll get you Tucker" after he's shot.  It's really, really cheesy.  Way too much of a cartoon villian line.)

I think the biggest problem with your script is everybody is killing EVERYBODY.  So it's never a surprise when someone dies....ever.  You basically have taken all the fun out of killing, as odd as that sounds.

Finally, the ending is really anti-climactic.  You've built up this whole thing, and it ends so quickly.  It's almost as if you had no clue how to end it.

So, in closing, my suggestion is that you work more on D&D, and seperate it from this series (unless there's some huge connections I'm not remembering).  This script is salvagable, but it needs a lot of work.
Logged
e-mail Reply: 101 - 103
TAnthony
Posted: July 13th, 2007, 8:55pm Report to Moderator
Been around a while


Never take your eyes off your opponent

Location
USA
Posts
164
Posts Per Day
0.03
Thanks for the review Dressel. Sorry you didn't like it. I've already started the next draft and I decided just to do a complete over haul. I took out all of the flashbacks and only a few scenes remain from this draft. Thanks for the feedback.


"You wanna go to jail or you wanna go home? -- Training Day

All of my scripts on SimplyScripts
http://www.simplyscripts.com/cgi-bin/search.pl?search=Tanthony

Mayhem - Sci-Fi
Loud and Nasty - Action/Thriller
Down and Dirty (Sequel to L&N) - Action/Thriller
Fool's Gold - Western
Logged Offline
Private Message AIM Reply: 102 - 103
Cpt. Mark
Posted: November 24th, 2007, 10:08pm Report to Moderator
New-ish


Posts
5
Posts Per Day
0.00
Hey Tanothy, I just read Loud and nasty and I have to say it is very good. You had a decent plot that worked very well and had some intersting characters. The only problem I had with this is that dialouge seemed a little to cheesy. But other than that minor problem. Good job, and I am looking forward to reading more work from you.

Revision History (1 edits)
Cpt. Mark  -  November 24th, 2007, 10:10pm
no reason
Logged Offline
Private Message Reply: 103 - 103
 Pages: « 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7 : All
Recommend Print

Locked Board Board Index    Action/Adventure Scripts  [ previous | next ] Switch to:
Was Portal Recent Posts Home Help Calendar Search Register Login

Forum Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post polls
You may not post attachments
HTML is on
Blah Code is on
Smilies are on


Powered by E-Blah Platinum 9.71B © 2001-2006