The title page gives me a bit of warning with the colorful letters and the actors names above the title. I couldn't help but note "Axel Foley" doesn't show up until 16 pages into the script
, Rosewood on 28
. If anything, I'd at least move Axel's first scene up within the first ten, if not the first five.
And you're probably wondering how I got that far. That's because for those first 15 pages, you actually hooked me. I'm thinking, where is this going? Where's Foley? Where's Taggart
(or his son?) Where's Rosewood? On a BHC level, it's not a great start but
it's almost good by itself.
I repeat. The first fifteen pages are alright.
Not great, not good. But alright and bordering on good.(a few spelling errors) But ...I also repeat ...Axel Foley doesn't appear until page 16. Aside from his undercover work hustle, where the writer is trying too hard to get the character's hustle down something pops out at me, there's nothing interesting about Axel anymore, so it would seem.
"The Heat Is On".
Telling me where the credits go.
A character named Valentine (note: while not the character Murphy played in 'Trading Places', it still distracted me)
And it keeps going downhill. For a spec fanscript, I was disappointed in the fact that you spelled a character's name wrong and kept it that way (Taggart, not Taggert) It was because of this I stopped at p30.
What's interesting to note is that, whether the writer knows it or not there is
a new Beverly Hills Cop film coming, only it's a TV film, presumed to be a possible pilot for a TV series where it would follow...the son of Axel Foley
So what happened to a mild yet promising start? I'm going to take a guess.
I'm going to say...
The writer had an original script all his own. It was going nowhere. So he rewrote a little, and mixed it up with characters from Beverly Hills Cop
Genius!! (when Rosewood now works for the Internal Affairs division you know something's up)
Clean it up. Take out all the BHC characters. Interchange them with new ones....which is probably what was originally intended.