Andretta by Sean Chipman (Mr. Blonde) - Action, Adventure - Upon arriving in the crime-ridden metropolis of Andretta, a revenge-driven vigilante puts himself in the middle of a four-sided gang war on the day the government declares their city a no man's land. 104 pages - pdf, format

Okay, before anyone decides to endure this, I should explain that there will be a lot of unresolved plotlines in here. This is part 1 of a trilogy I've designed. Just felt it was worth mentioning. Hope you enjoy it.

The best way I've been able to describe this scripts is, it's a mash-up of Escape From L.A., The Punisher (2004) and Yojimbo. Take from that what you will... Lol.

As a fellow "saga" writer myself, I enjoy not knowing everything in the first part of a trilogy/franchise.  Gives you freedom to write however you want to.

I like the sound of it by the logline.  Definitely suits my reading material as I like fantasy-style action movies (not sure if this is fantasy, but Andretta sounds like a fantasy style city (even if the name is from Italy ).

Will read, cover some notes and give you my impressions.  I will start this later with a tasty beverage and snack.

Lee

I'll read it, Sean.  But not this weekend.

I got 12 pages in thus far.  Very good.  Detail is excellent yet not too overwhelming.  The action is nice, condensed and precise.  I could learn a lot from this and I am enjoying it thoroughly.

No notes thus far.  No mistakes at all.  Everything is top notch here.

Lee

Lee,

Glad you're liking it so far. Don't feel like you have to rush through it or anything.

Also, anyone who wants a return read, just let me know and send me a link, please, either in the thread or through a PM.

I have some down time this weekend.  

Too.  Damn.  Hot.  

Will get a bit further in on this, as I am also reading several other scripts too.  

Lee,

Don't read any further. I don't want you to waste your time because I'm putting this through a major re-write. Just letting you know in advance. =)

-Sean

Oh, okay.  Well, once the re-write is done I'll give that a read instead.

Lee

Whether it be in rewrite mode or not, at a glance this script is tightly written - format-wise.  I'll be interested in seeing the next version.  

Hey Sean

I think i will 'endure' this . i want to learn a thing or two about rewrites if that's alright.

and judging from the comments this will be a good script to learn from anyway.

Beckett,

Obviously, if you want to read it, by all means. I only put that up so people could read, if they wanted, the most recent version when it is eventually ready (probably in about two or three weeks).

Quoted from Dreamscale I'll read it, Sean. But not this weekend.

Curious to hear your feedback on this one.  

You know what? I changed my mind. If you guys want to read the script as is, go for it. My rewrite was to take out dialogue. The story itself wasn't going to change very much in this initial rewrite, so you wouldn't find much of a difference in the new one versus this one. If you do read it, what I said still stands. If you have something for me to read as well, either PM me or link it to me here. Either way works. =)

Just putting it out there that the sort-of rewrite for Andretta is now active. I cut 13 pages out of it, mostly dialogue and some boring parts of the story. Hoping the rest of it works out for you. =)