Hi Elijah, welcome to SS!
I took a look at the script, but I stopped reading on page 3. I'll try and explain why I stopped and hopefully you can get something out of it.
The main issue for me was the writing, there were a few others such as overall confusion on where and when this was happening and formatting issues, but those alone probably wouldn't have stopped me. The writing on the first pages consisted of simple sentences that didn't flow and read awkwardly and sometimes confusingly. I closed the script because I didn't feel the writing could carry the script, no matter how good the story behind it could be.
As for the confusion on where and when: There are names like Crow, Clay, Ragnarock, Mikasa and Pierce on the first pages. Along with Ninjas. I have no idea where or when this is taking place and guessing is hard because the information is kind of contradictory. A fictional world sounded the most likely, but I still have no clue.
I believe this is something that should be apparent when a reader gets into the script. If you don't use a super to tell it it should be in the premise, the logline. I felt that the current logline also was too vague for a script like this.
Then the formatting errors: Instead of OVER BLACK: there's a description of black "hanging". Hanging? I don't think this is the right word for it.
Character names are always capitalised, even in dialogue. They should only be capitalised when they're first introduced and never in dialogue. Capitalisation in dialogue means yelling.
On Page 1 you have - LATE NIGHT and then you hop to - NIGHT for one scene heading and back again. Is that a different time? Night would suffice, but any way there's no consistency.
In some more detail with a few suggestions:
Logline: A tenderhearted warrior is forced to kill in order to end the war.
Your script has a big concept, add more information on the war, the setting you're in etc. Also don't give away that he's forced to kill in the logline, add ambiguity to make us interested in the script and question whether he's going to have to kill or not. There's good conflict here just needs some rewording imo.
The screen hangs black.
A high pitched scream rings.
(A high pitched scream doesn't ring, a phone rings. Also if you have something over black you should use a fade in.)
A high pitched scream.
EXT. VILLAGE - LATE NIGHT
Fire covers the village. It illuminates a cold night.
Smoke blankets this empty sky. People panic with weapons in
hand. Abandoned children cry out.
(The confusingness starts here imo. Did people just grab what they could find or are they actual weapons and if so what weapons? I'm also unclear as to why the village is burning. Arson? Cannons? What happened?
I think you could also merge a few sentences and get rid of the repetition of the same meaning in two of the sentences above.)
Smoke billows as huts burn intensively throughout the village. Amidst the cries of abandoned children, people run around panicking, armed with whatever they could find.
YOUNG CLAY steps through the hut's opening. Blonde and
blue-eyed as well, he wears a hat made from raccoon hide.
The raccoon's face blankets YOUNG CLAY'S scalp. YOUNG CLAY
I'm wondering why their hair colour and eye colour are so important. They won't make it into a casting call anyway. I think you should rather describe their personal traits or more important phsyical traits that would be relevant to the character or plot. The order of it all is messy too, needs some merging and reordering imo.
INT. NINJA HOUSE - NIGHT
Shadows hide the house. A girl's shrouded figure shakes
within the shadows. She is twelve.
Okay, it's definitely a ninja house if shadows are hiding it.
Akward and confusing phrasing making it difficult to get the full picture. You should mention that the girl is indeed young misaka to make sure it's clear, too.
PIERCE is large, a head taller than YOUNG CLAY. He holds a
giant sledgehammer with one hand. He is Twenty as well, but
looks much older than YOUNG CLAY.
To the side of PIERCE is YOUNG RAGNAROCK, his younger
brother. YOUNG RAGNAROCK is the same age as YOUNG CROW, but
could be mistaken for a fifteen year-old. YOUNG RAGNAROCK
stands behind PIERCE. He shelters himself behind his hero.
More awkward and clunky character introductions.
I think a lot of people would close this script on the first few pages. I'd suggest working on the logline and the writing. Good luck, hope my thoughts on this gave you some notes you can use. Good luck.