Your logline is not comprehensible which leads me to believe English is not your native language. Keep the log simple and clear.
"CLICK ! The leash line has spooled out. The elderly man's entire BODY is JOLTED forward. The resulting jolt SNAPS his head to the side. Contorting his face into to a WTF. Expelling his dentures and saliva in a projectile loogie. Shocked into life like Frankenstein's monster the elderly man, begins YELLING all the way down the block.
Contorting his face into a WTF??? WTF does that mean?
Can you imagine auditions for the part of elderly man? Now I want you to read the above line...
Gl with the script