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The Soul Eaters by David Fell - Action, Adventure, Gothic Horror - A young man discovers that the mysterious strangers he has invited into his home are the soul eaters of terrifying legend. Now, he and his band of friends must kill them before they lose, not just their lives, but their souls. 91 pages - pdf format
It is late summer, dusk; the sky is darkening ominously with a gathering of great storm clouds, black, evil and frightening. A terrifying crack of thunder is followed by a crystal clear fork of lightning which illuminates a windswept cliff top path. The rain whips the landscape mercilessly and there emerges from the gloom a coach and horses careering desperately close to the cliff edge. Inside the coach sit two couples facing each other, the younger of which, the newly wed MR and MRS PRESTON are both white with fear. The other couple are; PROFESSOR WYNDHAM, an elderly man, greying hair, bespectacled, with lean, sharp features and quick, piercing eyes and his beautiful young daughter, MYRA, dark-haired, black, haunting eyes and a calm, almost disquieting, self-assurance. Mrs Preston looks out of the window and recoils in horror.
Break these up - try to keep it to 4 lines. e.g., CAP your key sounds. Avoid passive writing (the sky darkens better than the sky is darkening, etc.).
The sky darkens ominously with a gathering of great storm clouds, black, evil and frightening.
A terrifying CRACK thunder of is followed by a crystal clear fork of lightning which illuminates a windswept cliff top path.
The rain whips the landscape mercilessly and there emerges from the gloom a coach and horses careering desperately close to the cliff edge.
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The Soul Eaters
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