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SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board    Unproduced Screenplay Discussion    Action/Adventure Scripts  ›  Lopez Moderators: bert
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Don
Posted: May 1st, 2021, 2:06pm Report to Moderator
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So, what are you writing?

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Lopez by Jose Rivadulla-Rey - Action, Adventure - Lopez is in love with a local criminals girlfriend, He is about to realise that love comes at a price and if you want it you have to pay the price with money or your life, sometimes both. 109 pages - pdf format

Writer interested in feedback on this work



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EC
Posted: May 23rd, 2021, 5:11pm Report to Moderator
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If you're going to write a screenplay, swing for the fences!  Credit to Jose Rivadulla-Rey for this ambitious work here; there is plenty of good material to work with. That said, I suggest the following thoughts:

Reframe the script against the backdrop of the Cuban Revolution of the 1950s: how the pursuit of love in a time of political crises ultimately leads Frank Lopez to put a hit on Emilio Rebenga years later in Freedom Town, Miami.

Secondly, Frank Lopez was a principled man with sound business acumen.  He was guided by a set of values that defined his business model:  1, Never underestimate the other guy's greed.  2. Don't get high on your own supply.   How did he arrive at those rules --?? And where did he learn his famous expression "Do you know what a chazzer is? It's a pig that doesn't fly straight.".  

We know from Tony Montana that Frank Lopez, at his core, is soft-hearted.  He would never pull the trigger on his rivals. What your screenplay alludes to is that Frank Lopez is motivated by love, not power.  He is, in my view, the accidental drug lord.

Lastly, your screenplay should explore these ideas to get a better understanding of Frank Lopez, his motivations, and that great love of his life Silvia Martez.
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