But it's more that just trading comments and criticisms that get people to read your work.  If I'm bored reading your three or four line synopsis, how am I going to make it through the script?


Phil

Phil, it's unfortunate that you place such a huge factor on a synopsis. Sometimes, someone can have a well-crafted story with well-rounded characters, great subplots, and a killer ending, but their greatest weakness and where they need the most work is in condensing this jewel into four lines. That's no small task. I've asked before how to do this and NO ONE responded.

Now, if your priority is in using the synopsis to determine whether you will read a work, I suppose that explains why even after reading one of yours, you have not read or commented on one of mine per your own comments that that is the way you work. This is even though The Burnout and The Fempiror Chronicles are in different genres on here, they would actually fall pretty closely together in genre if you hold hem side by side.

So with everything I've read, Phil, the only reason you have not read my script (unless you're busy on something else) is because you hate my synopsis. And if so, perhaps you'd like to give me feedback on why it doesn't work for you, so I could improve upon it, since as you've pointed out, a synopsis is just as important as the story, but to date, I've never been able to do justice to any of my stories with a one paragraph synopsis.

I'm actually on page thirty of the Femporer Chronicles now.  I've printed it up a couple of times, but could never get around to reading it.  When I'm done with it, I'll get back to you.

While you may think that I put too much emphasis on the synopsis, I can't see any other way to decide what scripts I should read.  I don't have the time to read every script on the boards.  I have to rely on the synopsis.

I've written synopses for two other scripts on the boards, just for the sake of doing it.  One was for Halloween Games (under horror) and the other was for American Geisha (under action).  You'll have to flip through the threads to them.  Compare the original ones with what I wrote.

IN regards to writing the loglines, you just have to learn how to strip everything away from the story until all you have left is the essence.  There's no other way to do it.


Phil

I was trying to figure out how "Beginnings" had 53 views and no comments. Then I realized that people might have read the logline and been turned off. I've already submitted a revision of the script with a new and, hopefully, improved logline.

My apologies, Phil. I thank you for having a look at it. I clearly spoke out of turn, and without thought to my words.

I do understand what you mean on bad synopses. Not too big on those who tell me what I'm supposed to think of it, either. But I do admit to at least believing my synoses are not so good.

If you don't mind, after you've looked at the script, would you tell me your opinion on my synopsis?

Your synopsis reads:

"This is the first part of an epic series that is a twist on the traditional vampire story. David is a boy with a normal life ahead of him when he is attacked by someone who changes him into a member of a race called the Fempiror. An old Fempiror called Zechariah takes David under his wing and shows him the ways of the order of Rastem, whose mission is to keep the rogue Fempiror order of Tepish in check, for if the Tepish are ever left to their own devices, they will change the human race into Fempiror, causing a slow genocide over many years. Unfortunately, all David wants is to go back home, and the hardest lesson he'll ever learn is that you can never go back once you've left."

Mine reads:

"In the eighteenth century, a young man is forced into a world of demons and eternal darkness and to fight in a millenia long blood war."

My synopsis is vague but it is enough to whet your appetite.  It may not be 100% accurate, but it gives an overall impression of the story and leaves you wondering about demons and blood wars.


Phil

Quoted from dogglebe What's even worse is when you sell yourself as the greatest thing since sliced bread.  If you want to see a great example of this, look up "Street Scriptures" in the serial section. Phil

Oh my God, Phil.  I had never seen this.  It is -- bar none -- the funniest thing I have ever seen on this site!

I just had a look. NWO333 is quite humorous. Poor fallen disciple dogglebe, did you turn on your lord "The Chosen One" and have him crucified? I guess it's hard to be humble when you're chosen.

Then again, people like that do get enough notoriety to get attention.

To cover your one liner, that's very good. I can totally adapt that into being 100% accurate.

Oh and George another thing you can do to get things read is find someone you mix well with and use that person as they will you and exchange works of writing for reviews. I did that with a guy who is produced and a very good screenwriter. (Possibly the best I've ever read.) He'd do for me what I've needed since 3 years ago when nobody on this site read my work, a good long review that basically gave me a new direction to take a 3 year old script.

It went from 80 pages to 120 back down to 114 in just the span of a month after his help, I mean that seems like quality help. I also gave him some advice, where wanted of course plus he seemed to have the same problems I had. He'd spend so much time on something and when it's done, he hates it or parts of it.

Anyway long story short we haven't talked in a couple months but last time I checked in he was meeting with some producer or exec down in H Wood's general area.

That might be what you need, find someone whose work you like and they like yours and exchange work and get to know the person through e mails because at the end of the day it's really all you might need to write the perfect script.

What I do is Advertise go review other scripts and after u leave a nice review tell them to check out your script and then people look at it!

I haven't seen many reviews by you, I usually see hey I liked it go read... That's not a review it's an opinion. Dogglebe, he writes reviews, George even, after that review I seen of George's the other day that looked to be like 3 posts long I'd say he deserves a few reads because you can tell he read the work and has some thought to HELP the writer.

I guess some people like that kinda review because a lot of people do it.

I now go by the Golden Rule: "Do to others what you would have them do to you."

I review scripts the way I want to be reviewed. Brutally, honestly, with a big "It sucked because..." - emphasis on the because. The philosophy I have always followed in taking criticism is that I would much rather receive the input while the work can be changed, than to let it go and get slammed after it can't.

When I started this thread, I had about 10 posts. It was from here that I learned that letting everyone know who you are and that maybe you are someone whose work is worth reading will get reads by the board regulars and even newcomers. Since then, I've read a handful of scripts, and reviewed the best I know how, all of which consist of my personal opinion which could be wrong.

When I started this thread, I also had no reviews on anything (well, someone said The Fempiror Chronicles was good and he'd give a more thorough review later...yeah, that didn't happen). Since I started reading and giving my thoughts, I have had multiple reads and reviews.

After some time, I think I can finally answer my own question. You get a script read by reading others' scripts and leaving a worthwhile review, letting the community get to know you (positively), and showing through these things that you are worth spending time on.

Beyond these, a good synopsis might help your script get picked randomly, and only rarely does actively advertising or being a royal pain get you read.

Quoted from dogglebe IN regards to writing the loglines, you just have to learn how to strip everything away from the story until all you have left is the essence.  There's no other way to do it. Phil

I feel that the writing of BANANA CHAN was/is stripping away everything but the essence.  I feel that what I present in the scripts is nothing but the essence.  That's why I've been trying to write a simple short description of the series for years, but I SIMPLYtm can't write one that does it justice.

As mentioned, a good synopsis is a big, big, big plus. With thousands and thousands of scripts online, you have to attract the attention of the potential reader in the two seconds he/she is going to give to each entry. It's not more than that. With the wealth of material around here, the reader will instantly move on if you don't grasp the attention right away. It's really like trying to get an agent.

Format and overall appearance is important too. When I come here to look for something to read, I don't think "Oh, I think I'll read a mediocre attempt at writing a script by an amateur.". I think: "I want to read a really good script, written by a good writer who is serious about the craft and is ready to do it as a living". If your script looks like a work of an amateur, the reader will think it is one and instantly move on. Because the fact is that if someone is a good writer who is serious about what he/she is doing, the writer will format the script properly. Cruel, but true. I have to admit that I don't even consider reading the script unless Don's given three stars for format.

But where it all comes down to is luck. Plain and simple. That's how it is with everything. I remember a while ago there was this script called "Pickerman the Great" that really blew out the bank. It got an enormous reception. And while it did the two things mentioned above, it got a few good replies to the thread out of a lucky break few people had stumbled to it and decided to post a favourable feedback. Immediately the other potential readers saw that what's all this, it's gotten several posts and got interested. And the snowball was ready to roll. It got more posts and because of that, it drew more attention and got more readers and so on.

So do the best job you can and hope for the best. There's nothing else you can do. I've noticed that if someone advertises his/her script somewhere somehow, I won't even touch it, because it sends a message of over-enthusiasm. I think that this is someone who thinks too much of him/herself or doesn't trust the work to be good enough to work on its own. While this might not be true in all cases, this is my reaction. Every time.

it's true the best thing is to just ask around