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SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board    General Boards    Questions or Comments  ›  Action inside and out of a location
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  Author    Action inside and out of a location  (currently 704 views)
Kip
Posted: January 25th, 2013, 5:28am Report to Moderator
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At my signal, unleash Hellboy

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Just a quick question.

I'm writing a scene at the moment where a man is sat inside his car, watching action in the street where he is parked.

Although we never leave the car but the action outside is described, do we use:

INT/EXT. PARKED CAR - DAY

or simply,

INT. PARKED CAR - DAY

and describe in the action that the man "watches ........ through the windscreen"?

Cheers.

Kip
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Reef Dreamer
Posted: January 25th, 2013, 6:09am Report to Moderator
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Interesting one.

My opinion would be the scene is still centred in the car,  but I would stress he is watching to give the reader a clear POV. For example,

THROUGH the windscreen he sees etc etc

If you wanted to focus on the fight and look back at him the car watching then that would change the POV so need an EXT scene

See what others say.


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Kip
Posted: January 25th, 2013, 6:15am Report to Moderator
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At my signal, unleash Hellboy

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Cheers Reef,

I know there's a scene in "Get Carter" where the hearse driver watches Carter's niece from the hearse. In the script it's written as you say, "through the windscreen.....", but I just wanted to check before I moved onto something else and forgot about it.

Kip.
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dogglebe
Posted: January 25th, 2013, 10:06am Report to Moderator
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Though what you describe sounds more like a director's decision than a script description, you could use what's known as INTERCUT.  It allows you to switch quickly back and forth between two scenes that are connected (ie:  a telephone conversation).  Here's what your's might look like:

INT.  PARK CAR - DAY

JOHN sits behind the wheel, sipping coffee.  He eyes a blue house across the street.

EXT.  BLUE HOUSE - CONTINUOUS

MARY steps through the door and lights a cigarette.  She seems upset.

INTERCUT - CAR/HOUSE

John puts his coffee down and grabs a camera.  He starts taking pictures.

Mary paces the porch.

BRAD storms from the house, suitcase in hand.  He bumps into Mary as he hurries down the stairs.

John continues taking pictures.

Mary screams (MOS) at John.  He flips her the bird as he leave


This allows you to write the scene without using a dozen scene headers, which would only slow down the reader and throw the script's timing off.


Phil
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Kip
Posted: January 25th, 2013, 10:28am Report to Moderator
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At my signal, unleash Hellboy

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Thanks, Phil.

That looks the way forward for what I'm trying to get across.

Appreciate that.

Kip.
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Dreamscale
Posted: January 25th, 2013, 11:51am Report to Moderator
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Actually, it's an age old debate that gets brought up in some form all the time.

It will come down to the Director's decision, but you want to write it so that it's perfectly clear.

It's not your job to decide where the camera is while filming any scene.  You need to write the scene where the scene takes place.  If the action is taking place in an EXT location, that's what the Slug should read.  If it's taking place in an INT location, that's how the Slug should read.

Now...you could use an actual POV from within the car, but again, that's not really something that you need to worry yourself about.

You can also do it the way Reef mentioned, by clearly stating "through the windshield..." or "outside...".

In theory, what Phil says makes sense, but I personally am very against using "INTERCUT", because to me, it's both lazy and surrenders some control (depending on exactly what kind of scene is being intercut).

Finally, it really will come down to how long and detailed the scene is, as to how it works best as written.

But, whichever way you go about it, don't do something like this...

INT. CAR - DAY

John sits in the driver's seat, sipping champagne.

A GIRL walks in front of him, and continues up a driveway, where she strips off her top, setting her large, melon-like breasts free.

John finishes his glass and gulps from the bottle, wide eyed.

The girl does cartwheels and it's perfectly clear she forgot to put her panties on today.


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Dreamscale  -  January 25th, 2013, 2:27pm
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Kip
Posted: January 25th, 2013, 12:09pm Report to Moderator
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At my signal, unleash Hellboy

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Thanks for that, Dreamscale.

I'll see how it reads when it's done. I'm sure it'll get picked up on and corrected by someone who reads it, but I'd like to get it right before they do.


Quoted from Dreamscale

But, whichever way you go about it, don't do something like this...

INT. CAR - DAY

John sits in the driver's seat, sipping champagne.

A GIRL walks in front of him, and continues up a driveway, where she strips off her top, setting her large, melon-like breasts free.

John finishes his glass and gulps from the bottle, wide eyed.

The girl does cartwheels and it's perfectly clear she she forgot to put her panties on today.



If I can shoehorn melon sized breasts and pantieless girls into it in some way, you know I will.  

Kip.

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RegularJohn
Posted: January 25th, 2013, 2:10pm Report to Moderator
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Hey Kip.

I firmly believe that the simplist approach is almost always the best.  You can use an INTERCUT but sometimes I feel that those kinds of tricks can spoil the illusion of the script.  I had a similar question about dream sequences and received similar responses, including the use of an INTERCUT.

Going off your example, I suggest starting off in the car, describing the action outside the car, then returning to the car.  I'm not entirely sure if there's some kind of fight going on but if the reactions from those in the car aren't vital to the story here, concentrate on the action.

You can use a POV but as Dreamscale pointed out, it's really in the hands of the director on how these angles are played out.  I suggest taking that scene out of your script, rewriting it a few different ways and see which one fits best with the script as a whole.  Fluency is key in features IMO.  Hopefully this helped a bit.  Good luck Kip.


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Kip
Posted: January 25th, 2013, 2:33pm Report to Moderator
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At my signal, unleash Hellboy

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Cheers Johnny,


Quoted from RegularJohn

I suggest taking that scene out of your script, rewriting it a few different ways and see which one fits best with the script as a whole.  Fluency is key in features IMO.  Hopefully this helped a bit.  Good luck Kip.


Everyone's been super helpful on this, I appreciate it immensely. The scene will probably be ditched, but it's just really useful to know for future reference.

Cheers, old chap.

Kip.



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