SimplyScripts Discussion Board
Blog Home - Produced Movie Script Library - TV Scripts - Unproduced Scripts - Contact - Site Map
ScriptSearch
Welcome, Guest.
It is November 24th, 2020, 8:54am
Please login or register.
Was Portal Recent Posts Home Help Calendar Search Register Login
If you wish to join this discussion forum, please send me a message. There is no online registration. Please do read the guidelines that govern behavior on the discussion board. It will make for a much more pleasant experience for everyone. A word about SimplyScripts and Censorship


Produced Script Database (Updated!)
Yes, I am running script reviews, again...

Short Script of the Day | Featured Script of the Month | Featured Short Scripts Available for Production
Submit Your Script

How do I get my film's link and banner here?
All screenplays on the simplyscripts.com and simplyscripts.net domain are copyrighted to their respective authors. All rights reserved. This screenplaymay not be used or reproduced for any purpose including educational purposes without the expressed written permission of the author.
Forum Login
Username: Create a new Account
Password:     Forgot Password

SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board    Unproduced Screenplay Discussion    Comedy Scripts  ›  Dooda and Rayford Moderators: bert
Users Browsing Forum
No Members and 2 Guests

 Pages: 1
Recommend Print
  Author    Dooda and Rayford  (currently 1389 views)
Don
Posted: June 18th, 2010, 12:35am Report to Moderator
Administrator
Administrator


So, what are you writing?

Location
Virginia
Posts
14280
Posts Per Day
1.97
Dooda and Rayford: The Alabaster Boys! by Johnny Mann - Comedy - Two bumbling brothers from the deep backwoods win a sightseeing weekend in New York City and unknowingly get caught up in a police investigation. 105 pages - pdf, format


Visit SimplyScripts.com for what is new on the site.

SimplyScripts Masks can be purchased at: facebook.com/UCanBeSafe/
-------------
You will miss 100% of the shots you don't take.
- Wayne Gretzky
Logged
Site Private Message
Eoin
Posted: September 20th, 2010, 8:55am Report to Moderator
Regular


just another ego maniac with low self esteem

Location
Ireland
Posts
638
Posts Per Day
0.15
I think you need to rework this one extensively. Your script should be written in the present simples, ' bills runs towards the bus', your script is in the present continous, ' billy is running towards the bus'.

This is a concept that's been kicked to death - dumb hicks meet city slickers. Far too much dialouge in your script and the vast majority of it is expositional.

'The Feminine Touch' gag is straight out of Police Academy.

You need to read a few scripts and get a handle on formatting. Also your story needs to be made more visual and your characters made more unique and interesting.
Logged Offline
Private Message Reply: 1 - 1
 Pages: 1
Recommend Print

Locked Board Board Index    Comedy Scripts  [ previous | next ] Switch to:
Was Portal Recent Posts Home Help Calendar Search Register Login

Forum Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post polls
You may not post attachments
HTML is on
Blah Code is on
Smilies are on


Powered by E-Blah Platinum 9.71B © 2001-2006