How do I get my film's link and banner here?
All screenplays on the simplyscripts.com and simplyscripts.net domain are copyrighted to their respective authors. All rights reserved. This screenplaymay not be used or reproduced for any purpose including educational purposes without the expressed written permission of the author.
Users Browsing Forum
No Members and 1 Guests
Amateurs (currently 2409 views)
Posted: December 24th, 2011, 4:45pm
So, what are you writing?
Posts Per Day
by Kevin Bicharr T - Comedy - With his life on the line, inexperienced Victor persuades his friends into robbing a bank. They turn to a local thug (Sunny) for help, but find themselves swayed into an unknown scheme of his. But the robbery doesn’t go as planned for both parties, ensuing in a hilarious cat and mouse chase. 116 pages - doc, format
Posted: May 26th, 2012, 7:25pm
Let The Sky Fall
Posts Per Day
Hi Kevin. Maybe you've been watching too many movies. And in your spare time inventing your own format. Nothing wrong with that, but there's a ready made variety that been tried 'n' tested, and working just fine.
There's a story here, and quite a lot, I think the story is good in your mind and filmable - but it's just such a spaced out read ... I can't see this really getting far without a re-write. Try Celtx or Trelby too - they'll help you out.
Reply: 1 - 2
Posted: May 27th, 2012, 4:32pm
You know what a saguaro is?
Posts Per Day
Way wordy but an interesting intro that I am curious about. The wordiness and format slow down the reading.
Try something like: EXT. AUTO WRECKING YARD - NIGHT FOUR THIRTY-SOMETHING MEN run, panicked,..because guard dogs chase them. One man trips and face plants. This is DUSTIN, a short beer-gutted white guy. MARCUS, black and dressed casual chic, skids to a stop and goes for Dustin. KEVIN (V.O.) These are my boys, Marcus and Dustin. Marcus yanks Justin up and they scramble away. Ahead of them are KEVIN (narrating), an average white dude, and VICTOR, an uber fit corporate white guy in smart clothes. Off Victor... KEVIN (V.O.) This is Victor. He's one of my boys, too, but if I survive this, I may just have to kill him. The dogs close on the quartet. KEVIN (V.O.) Why are we ten seconds from being premium dog food? All I can say is friendship is a fucked up bond. FLASH BACK EXT. SCHOOL PLAY GROUND – 1983 - DAY A sea of white kids at play. A huge FAT KID knocks a little girl off a swing and takes her place. In a nearby sand box, YOUNG KEVIN, YOUNG MARCUS, and YOUNG DUSTIN look on. Dustin sniffs sand. Marcus slaps at Dustin. Kevin picks at his braces. YOUNG VICTOR, skinny and wearing glasses, steps up and shoves the fat kid. YOUNG VICTOR She was there before you! Get off the swing! Fat Kid halts the swing and stands, towering over Victor. AT THE SAND BOX YOUNG KEVIN This won't be good. Marcus and Dustin GRUNT with agreement. AT THE SWING Victor punches Fat Kid in the belly. Fat Kid grabs Victor and hoists him overhead, holds, then throws Victor to the ground. Victor's glasses fall away. The Fat Kid walks off, his first step squashes Victor's glasses. The three boys gather around Victor and look down at him. Dustin is the first to reach down to Victor, then they all reach down.
Reply: 2 - 2
[ Board Index Comedy Scripts previous | next ]
Switch to: News Questions or Comments Site Redesign Screenwriting Class Simplyscripts Collaborative Effort Review My Logline Script Review Exchange My Work In Progress Contests - Screenwriting and Filmmaking Writing Opportunities and Call for Scripts The 2020 Writers' Tournament The 2019 Writers' Tournament The 2018 Writers' Tournament Action/Adventure Scripts Comedy Scripts Drama Scripts Dramedy Scripts Family Scripts Horror Scripts Romantic Comedy Sci Fi and Fantasy Scripts Series Thriller Scripts Western Scripts Short Scripts Short Action / Adventure Scripts Short Comedy Scripts Short Drama Scripts Short Dramedy Scripts Short Horror Short Romantic Comedy Scripts Short Sci Fi and Fantasy Scripts Short Family Scripts Short Thriller Scripts Radio and Stage Plays Halloween 2020 One Week Challenge September, 2020 One Week Challenge June, 2020 One Week Challenge May, 2020 Challenge March Challenge January 2020 - One Week Challenge October, 2019 One Week Challenge The August Challenge April, 2019 One Week Challenge January 2019 - One Week Challenge The Night Gallery 7 Week Challenge October 2018 One Week Challenge July 2018 One Week Challenge May 2018 One Week Challenge January 2018 Two Week Challenge October 2017 One Week Challenge The Quickie Challenge July 2017 OWC April 2017 OWC Scarefest Script Club January 2017 One Week Challenge October 2K16 One Week Challenge August 2016 One Week Challenge April 2016 OWC January 2016 OWC October 2015 One Week Challenge 2015 7 Week Challenge May, 2015 One Week Challenge February 2015 One Week Challenge October 2014 One Week Challenge 2014 One + 6 Week Challenge April 2014 One Week Challange January 2014 - One Week Challenge October 2013 One Week Challenge July 2013 One Week Challenge March, 2013 1+6WC End of the World One Week Challenge October 2012 One Week Challenge February 2012 OWC December, 2011 Urban Legend OWC October, 2011 One Week Challange September 2011 One Week Challenge June 2011 One Week Challenge February 2011 One Week Challenge October, 2010 One Week Challenge May 2010 One Week Challenge February, 2010 One Week Challenge October, 2009 One Week Challenge August 2009 One Week Challenge April, 2009 One Week Challenge January, 2009 Two Week Challenge October, 2008 One Week Challenge July 08 One Week Challenge February, 2008 One Week Challenge October '07 One Week Challenge Short Sci Fi - January 07 One Week Challenge July/August 2007 One Week Challenge Short Comedy - April '07 One Week Challenge Short Horror - October 06 One Week Challenge Movie, Television and DVD Reviews Script Reviews Music Reviews and Discussion General Chat Movie/Television Rumor Books Poetry Getting to know you, getting to know all about you... Things you are looking for March Madness 2018
You may not post new threads You may not post replies You may not post polls You may not post attachments
HTML is on Blah Code is on Smilies are on