Hey Lee -
Thanks for some great feedback and fantastic comments! Truly appreciate it, man!
"Page 5 - The quick "pain" cuts were hilarious, you could be the nicest guy in the world but still, getting bitten in the butt, thrown into a fence, pecked by a vicious goose and launched through a stable door would make you want to GET. THE HELL. OUT OF THERE!"
I know from experience that visual comedy often looks flat on the page. What's funny on the screen isn't always particularly funny on the page. So the fact the scene made you laugh is great!
"Page 9 - LMAO at the choking segment, LOL."
At the risk of repeating myself, it's great that you were able to laugh at, what is for the most part, a scene of visual comedy. Without wishing to appear arrogant, (and with some experience to back it up) I'm pretty confident that this scene in particular, would, with the right comedy actors, be really funny up on the screen!
"This story has HEART, man. I am 100% heterosexual, but I have absolutely NOTHING against homosexuals. It was a great story, one with excellent premise. Memorable characters too."
Great stuff! Always nice to hear! Thanks!
"Excellent comedy with HEART. It has a spark comedies rarely have. Exceptionally hilarious minor antagonist in the form of Jaws. And a great message."
It's fantastic when a fellow writer has such a positive opinion of my work. The fact that I know you to be a talented writer in your own right, makes it even more gratifying and hopefully proves that I'm on the right track!
Hopefully some shrewd Producer will spot the script's undoubted potential?!!
Thanks for some wonderful feedback, Lee!
Take care, man
P.S. Looking forward to reading Avenger when it's finished!