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SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board    Unproduced Screenplay Discussion    Comedy Scripts  ›  Male-Order Bride Moderators: bert
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  Author    Male-Order Bride  (currently 3731 views)
rolo
Posted: August 25th, 2013, 2:32pm Report to Moderator
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Hey Lee -

Thanks for some great feedback and fantastic comments! Truly appreciate it, man!

"Page 5 - The quick "pain" cuts were hilarious, you could be the nicest guy in the world but still, getting bitten in the butt, thrown into a fence, pecked by a vicious goose and launched through a stable door would make you want to GET. THE HELL. OUT OF THERE!"

I know from experience that visual comedy often looks flat on the page. What's funny on the screen isn't always particularly funny on the page.  So the fact the scene made you laugh is great!

"Page 9 - LMAO at the choking segment, LOL."

At the risk of repeating myself, it's great that you were able to laugh at, what is for the most part, a scene of visual comedy. Without wishing to appear arrogant, (and with some experience to back it up) I'm pretty confident that this scene in particular, would, with the right comedy actors, be really funny up on the screen!

"This story has HEART, man.  I am 100% heterosexual, but I have absolutely NOTHING against homosexuals.  It was a great story, one with excellent premise. Memorable characters too."

Great stuff! Always nice to hear! Thanks!

"Excellent comedy with HEART.  It has a spark comedies rarely have.  Exceptionally hilarious minor antagonist in the form of Jaws.  And a great message."

It's fantastic when a fellow writer has such a positive opinion of my work. The fact that I know you to be a talented writer in your own right, makes it even more gratifying and hopefully proves that I'm on the right track!

"Great script"

Hopefully some shrewd Producer will spot the script's undoubted potential?!!

Thanks for some wonderful feedback, Lee!

Take care, man

Gary (rolo)

P.S. Looking forward to reading Avenger when it's finished!



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rolo
Posted: October 22nd, 2013, 9:15am Report to Moderator
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Been getting some interest on this one. Good chance it might get optioned in the next couple of weeks!
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StevenClark
Posted: October 22nd, 2013, 9:47am Report to Moderator
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Rolo,

That's great to hear, man. This was a good story with heart--and funny!  All the best with this. Keep us posted!

Steve


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rolo
Posted: October 23rd, 2013, 9:27pm Report to Moderator
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Hey Steve -

Thanks for the kind words about Male-Order Bride! Have to say I agree with your comment: "This was a good story with heart--and funny!"

Though if I'm honest, I'd say it's the premise that got this particular producer interested - He loves it!

Will definitely keep you posted!

Take care

Gary (Rolo)
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