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SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board    Unproduced Screenplay Discussion    Comedy Scripts  ›  Being Others Moderators: bert
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Don
Posted: August 16th, 2014, 6:35pm Report to Moderator
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So, what are you writing?

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Being Others by Robert DeFrank - Comedy, Teen - After he is struck by lightning, bullied geek Harris  Hotchkiss can absorb the talents, strength, and knowledge of others via touch, he uses this gift to get even with his tormentors and win the heart of the girl he adores. - pdf, format


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MikeCashman
Posted: January 12th, 2022, 2:44pm Report to Moderator
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I read the script and it kept my attention until the end.  I wish Harris had used his powers a little better against his bullies.  Jocks acting as though they are harmless and Harris ends up getting beat up by a girl?  Really?  The ending had a nice twist to it.  I will not ruin it for others but the ending did kind of come out as a surprise to me.  I didn't recognize the clues.  

This is well written and understandable.  I believed the characters and could vision this story mostly as I was reading it.  But it's always the same with bullies.  They go after the "weaklings" of the world.  Bullies won't face off with someone equal to them.  They have to find someone that they can put fear in and treat them with no respect and are always out to harm them.  That's what I get from this.  Josh was nothing but a jock and a worthless bully who took his actions out on Harris.  I would like to have seen Harris face off with Josh and put it to him.  Embarrass him in front of his own peers.  You may have shown that during the basketball game with Kobe Bryant.

Otherwise, the story is well written with some minor grammar errors.  They can be fixed by you re-reading your own story.  You'll find them.  Great job!  I enjoyed reading this script.
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