SimplyScripts Discussion Board
Blog Home - Produced Movie Script Library - TV Scripts - Unproduced Scripts - Contact - Site Map
ScriptSearch
Welcome, Guest.
It is July 1st, 2025, 10:52pm
Please login or register.
Was Portal Recent Posts Home Help Calendar Search Register Login
The primary purpose of the SimplyScripts Discussion Board is the discussion of unproduced screenplays. If you are a producer or director lookng for your next project, the works here are available for option, purchase or production only if you receive permission from the author.

NOTE: these screenplays are NOT in the public domain and MAY NOT be used or reproduced for any purpose (including eductional purposes) without the expressed written permission of the author.

New to SimplyScripts? - Tell us about yourself! | How does this discussion board work? - FAQs! | Submit Your Script
The answer to: Who wrote what script in the June 2025 One Week Challenge? <- click back there


The July 2025 One Week Challenge comes, soon.

How do I get my film's link and banner here?
Short Script of the Day | Featured Shorts Available for Production | Guidelines and Censorship | Produced Script Database | Oscar Winning Screenplays through the Ages | WGA Top 101 Screenplays

Forum Login
Username: Create a new Account
Password:     Forgot Password

SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board    Unproduced Screenplay Discussion    Comedy Scripts  ›  Again Moderators: bert
Users Browsing Forum
No Members and 5 Guests

 Pages: 1
Recommend Print
  Author    Again  (currently 2085 views)
Don
Posted: January 5th, 2016, 7:24pm Report to Moderator
Administrator
Administrator


So, what are you writing?

Location
Virginia
Posts
17346
Posts Per Day
1.94
Again by Ted Scott - Comedy - An arrogant twenty-something-year-old gets a spell put on him that forces him to relive certain situations throughout his day. 99 pages - pdf, format


Visit SimplyScripts.com for what is new on the site.

-------------
You will miss 100% of the shots you don't take.
- Wayne Gretzky
Logged Offline
Site Private Message
BenjaminL
Posted: January 6th, 2016, 11:58am Report to Moderator
Guest User



Hey Ted,

I only skimmed through the script and I'm afraid this needs some work. Here's what I noticed instantly:

1) You're already making a mistake on the title page. "written by:" should be "written by"
2) "FADE IN:" should be on the left side from my understanding.
3) You're wasting tons of lines. Your action paragrahps barely exceed two lines. You're using a new line for nearly everything. Why??
4) The dialogues have way too many one-liners.
5) There are pages that are filled entirely with dialogue, don't do that. There's gotta be at least one line of action.
6) 99 pages is way too long for a comedy spec but then again if you'd write more efficiently the page count would be lower.

Good luck with the script.
Logged
e-mail Reply: 1 - 2
cloroxmartini
Posted: January 6th, 2016, 12:37pm Report to Moderator
Been Around



Location
You know what a saguaro is?
Posts
803
Posts Per Day
0.13
Logline sounded promising but the execution to page 12 isn't all that entertaining. When you set something up with God, your follow up should be better and it's not. You're not making a connection to the opening shot soon enough.
Logged Offline
Private Message Reply: 2 - 2
 Pages: 1
Recommend Print

Locked Board Board Index    Comedy Scripts  [ previous | next ] Switch to:
Was Portal Recent Posts Home Help Calendar Search Register Login

Forum Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post polls
You may not post attachments
HTML is on
Blah Code is on
Smilies are on
Powered by E-Blah Platinum 9.71B © 2001-2006