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The primary purpose of the SimplyScripts Discussion Board is the discussion of unproduced screenplays. If you are a producer or director lookng for your next project, the works here are available for option, purchase or production only if you receive permission from the author.
NOTE: these screenplays are NOT in the public domain and MAY NOT be used or reproduced for any purpose (including eductional purposes) without the expressedwrittenpermission of the author.
Again by Ted Scott - Comedy - An arrogant twenty-something-year-old gets a spell put on him that forces him to relive certain situations throughout his day. 99 pages - pdf, format
I only skimmed through the script and I'm afraid this needs some work. Here's what I noticed instantly:
1) You're already making a mistake on the title page. "written by:" should be "written by" 2) "FADE IN:" should be on the left side from my understanding. 3) You're wasting tons of lines. Your action paragrahps barely exceed two lines. You're using a new line for nearly everything. Why?? 4) The dialogues have way too many one-liners. 5) There are pages that are filled entirely with dialogue, don't do that. There's gotta be at least one line of action. 6) 99 pages is way too long for a comedy spec but then again if you'd write more efficiently the page count would be lower.
Logline sounded promising but the execution to page 12 isn't all that entertaining. When you set something up with God, your follow up should be better and it's not. You're not making a connection to the opening shot soon enough.