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The primary purpose of the SimplyScripts Discussion Board is the discussion of unproduced screenplays. If you are a producer or director lookng for your next project, the works here are available for option, purchase or production only if you receive permission from the author.
NOTE: these screenplays are NOT in the public domain and MAY NOT be used or reproduced for any purpose (including eductional purposes) without the expressedwrittenpermission of the author.
Future Copz by Brett Weinrich - Comedy - A cynical woman falls in love for seventeen days until her lover is murdered and she goes a whole lotta bonkers. Her mostly useless friends must join forces to save her before she accidentally kills herself and many innocent people with a dumptruck full of fireworks in a deeply misguided expression of love. 93 pages - pdf, format
It seems like you have a passion to write, and although you have some of the basics of formatting down, it's still extremely rough. You have direction written into your story, too many side notes in (parenthesis). Too many verbs that end in "ing". Instead of jamming to music have Gina just "jam to music". It makes the action sound to appear like it's in the present tense while ing verbs convey past tense. Instead of running use run. Shoots instead of shootings. Eats instead of eating.
The logline is also a tad....messy.
Congrats on finishing your story, but if you would like to make it a proper script there is some work to do.
Hope that helps a little. Hard to take this seriously though with all the other problems on page.