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SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board    Unproduced Screenplay Discussion    Comedy Scripts  ›  Coca-Condo Moderators: bert
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  Author    Coca-Condo  (currently 1008 views)
Posted: February 28th, 2016, 8:43pm Report to Moderator

So, what are you writing?

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Coca-Condo by Allen Wolf - Comedy - A married actress falls for her younger co-star in a Broadway play that eerily mirrors her own life; trapped by a possessive, criminal husband who is oblivious to his wife's first.  102 pages - pdf, format

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Posted: February 29th, 2016, 6:58pm Report to Moderator

You know what a saguaro is?
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It's interesting what stands out and gives pause during a read. In this case it's the Desert Eagle. I am certain you know what one is having learned in person or read about one. When that phrase is uttered, it's generally the most well known caliber that made this hand gun famous: the 50. Sooooo....when a "gunshot" goes off and she runs to investigate, I stopped reading and said, uh, what? Didn't he just write Desert Eagle? It would not have been a simple gun shot as uttered by a .38 pistol or a 9mm. This is a .50, you know, just short of a cannon, which the blast of would make someone say wtf was that!?!?! Not only would Ella be running to check, but the whole condo building would be running to check, especially the next door neighbors, you know, the ones on the other side of the closet. Maybe these are concrete walls, some condos have those.

Just saying...
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