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SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board    Unproduced Screenplay Discussion    Comedy Scripts  ›  Wishbone Moderators: bert
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Don
Posted: September 23rd, 2016, 7:33pm Report to Moderator
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So, what are you writing?

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Wishbone by Xavier Keough - Comedy - A patriotic slacker leads his dysfunctional family against their “communist” neighbors in a Thanksgiving football game; loser has to move. 103 pages - pdf, format


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Vincent
Posted: September 27th, 2016, 8:29pm Report to Moderator
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Amusing...wasn't sure about naming two of the characters Tina and Paige Turner until I saw those were part of the joke, and both then worked. (FWIW,  I once knew a Todd Turner -- he was a sports information director and athletic administrator at the University of Virginia.) The tone of the story was dead-on, and I'm sensing you're probably a Mike Judge fan ("King of the Hill," "Idiocracy").

I would doublecheck the script for a few spelling errors Auto-correct might not catch -- for just a few examples, at the bottom of page 2, "telephone poll" should be "telephone pole," and on page 3, it should be "your Amazon wife," not "you're Amazon wife." Keep an eye on those things.

BTW, I'll soon have a romantic comedy ("Stand Tall!") appear on this board; when it shows up, I cordially invite you to check it out and critique it.

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