SimplyScripts Discussion Board
Blog Home - Produced Movie Script Library - TV Scripts - Unproduced Scripts - Contact - Site Map
ScriptSearch
Welcome, Guest.
It is December 4th, 2020, 10:28pm
Please login or register.
Was Portal Recent Posts Home Help Calendar Search Register Login
If you wish to join this discussion forum, please send me a message. There is no online registration. Please do read the guidelines that govern behavior on the discussion board. It will make for a much more pleasant experience for everyone. A word about SimplyScripts and Censorship


Produced Script Database (Updated!)
The Scripts Studios Are Posting For 2020 Award Consideration page is up. Finally.

(>'-')> <('_'<) ^('_')\- \m/(-_-)\m/ <( '-')>
\_( .")> <( ._.)-`

Short Script of the Day | Featured Script of the Month | Featured Short Scripts Available for Production
Submit Your Script

How do I get my film's link and banner here?
All screenplays on the simplyscripts.com and simplyscripts.net domain are copyrighted to their respective authors. All rights reserved. This screenplaymay not be used or reproduced for any purpose including educational purposes without the expressed written permission of the author.
Forum Login
Username: Create a new Account
Password:     Forgot Password

SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board    Unproduced Screenplay Discussion    Comedy Scripts  ›  Bury the Hatchet Moderators: bert
Users Browsing Forum
No Members and 1 Guests

 Pages: 1
Recommend Print
  Author    Bury the Hatchet  (currently 599 views)
Don
Posted: April 21st, 2018, 9:26am Report to Moderator
Administrator
Administrator


So, what are you writing?

Location
Virginia
Posts
14312
Posts Per Day
1.97
Bury the Hatchet by Major - Comedy - A pair of enemies from high school are forced to co-operate when a murder occurs at their high school reunion. 100 pages - pdf, format

Writer interested in feedback on this work



Visit SimplyScripts.com for what is new on the site.

SimplyScripts Masks can be purchased at: facebook.com/UCanBeSafe/
-------------
You will miss 100% of the shots you don't take.
- Wayne Gretzky
Logged
Site Private Message
LoganH
Posted: April 30th, 2018, 9:14pm Report to Moderator
New-ish


Posts
4
Posts Per Day
0.00
10 pages in.

The Alice/Charlie conversation is way too long winded in my opinion. Try to cut some of that out. Also, is it necessary to have two separate scenes for the conversation? Why not just have the whole conversation in the car, or have Charlie come through the door with a suitcase and start the scene from there?

The description of Jesse being suspicious of the construction workers is impossible to portray to the audience with the way it's written. The average person isn't going to catch the fact that they're not wearing uniforms or hats.
Logged Offline
Private Message Reply: 1 - 1
 Pages: 1
Recommend Print

Locked Board Board Index    Comedy Scripts  [ previous | next ] Switch to:
Was Portal Recent Posts Home Help Calendar Search Register Login

Forum Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post polls
You may not post attachments
HTML is on
Blah Code is on
Smilies are on


Powered by E-Blah Platinum 9.71B © 2001-2006