SimplyScripts Discussion Board
Blog Home - Produced Movie Script Library - TV Scripts - Unproduced Scripts - Contact - Site Map
ScriptSearch
Welcome, Guest.
It is January 22nd, 2020, 7:32am
Please login or register.
Was Portal Recent Posts Home Help Calendar Search Register Login
If you wish to join this discussion board, please send me a message. Please do read the guidelines that govern behavior on the discussion board. It will make for a much more pleasant experience for everyone. A word about SimplyScripts and Censorship


Scripts Studios are posting for 2019 - 2020 award consideration
The January One Week Challenge is on

Scripts due to SimplyScripts.com/OWC



Short Script of the Day | Featured Script of the Month | Featured Short Scripts Available for Production | Submit Your Script

How do I get my film's link and banner here?
All screenplays on the simplyscripts.com and simplyscripts.net domain are copyrighted to their respective authors. All rights reserved. This screenplaymay not be used or reproduced for any purpose including educational purposes without the expressed written permission of the author.
Forum Login
Username: Create a new Account
Password:     Forgot Password

SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board    Unproduced Screenplay Discussion    Comedy Scripts  ›  Innocence Moderators: bert
Users Browsing Forum
No Members and 2 Guests

 Pages: 1
Recommend Print
  Author    Innocence  (currently 119 views)
Don
Posted: December 19th, 2019, 11:28am Report to Moderator
Administrator
Administrator


So, what are you writing?

Location
Virginia
Posts
13495
Posts Per Day
1.95
Innocence by Reya Kumar - Comedy, Drama - Defining moments in an innocent girl's life as she is exposed to sex, vaping, and drinking. 22 pages  - pdf format

New writer interested in feedback on this work, please be nice


Visit SimplyScripts.com for what is new on the site.


-------------
You will miss 100% of the shots you don't take.
- Wayne Gretzky
Logged
Site Private Message
eldave1
Posted: December 20th, 2019, 9:09pm Report to Moderator
Of The Ancients



Location
Southern California
Posts
5186
Posts Per Day
2.59
Reya: welcome to the site.


Quoted Text
INT. KITCHEN - DAY

2003

Valli (mom, 31 year old) is packing lunches. Karthik (dad, 32
years old) is finishing up his breakfast. Kamala (2 years
old) is playing with a toy car.

KAMALA
Amma, where did I come from.


When you want to put in a year - you should use a SUPER (as in Superimpose) right after your opening action/description.

Trying active by getting rid of the ing words -  e.g., rather than "is pacing" - go with packs.

telling us they are Mom and Dad is a bit of an unfilmable - we can't see that - let the dialogue do the trick.

Always CAP your characters when first intro'd.

Add a little more description.

Taking this all in - the opening would be something like:

INT. KITCHEN - DAY

VALLI (31) packs lunches on the counter as KARTHIK (32),
finishes up is breakfast at a small dinette.

SUPER: 2003

KAMALA (2) plays with a toy car on the kitchen floor.


My Scripts can all be seen here:

http://dlambertson.wix.com/scripts
Logged Offline
Private Message Reply: 1 - 1
 Pages: 1
Recommend Print

Locked Board Board Index    Comedy Scripts  [ previous | next ] Switch to:
Was Portal Recent Posts Home Help Calendar Search Register Login

Forum Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post polls
You may not post attachments
HTML is on
Blah Code is on
Smilies are on


Powered by E-Blah Platinum 9.71B © 2001-2006