Innocence by Reya Kumar - Comedy, Drama - Defining moments in an innocent girl's life as she is exposed to sex, vaping, and drinking. 22 pages  - pdf format

New writer interested in feedback on this work, please be nice

Reya: welcome to the site.

Quoted Text INT. KITCHEN - DAY 2003 Valli (mom, 31 year old) is packing lunches. Karthik (dad, 32 years old) is finishing up his breakfast. Kamala (2 years old) is playing with a toy car. KAMALA Amma, where did I come from.

When you want to put in a year - you should use a SUPER (as in Superimpose) right after your opening action/description.

Trying active by getting rid of the ing words -  e.g., rather than "is pacing" - go with packs.

telling us they are Mom and Dad is a bit of an unfilmable - we can't see that - let the dialogue do the trick.

Always CAP your characters when first intro'd.

Add a little more description.

Taking this all in - the opening would be something like:

INT. KITCHEN - DAY

VALLI (31) packs lunches on the counter as KARTHIK (32),
finishes up is breakfast at a small dinette.

SUPER: 2003

KAMALA (2) plays with a toy car on the kitchen floor.