Kurtz of Goat Island by Douglas E. Pike - Comedy - In this zany parody of the History Channel's hit, The Curse of Oak Island, the owner of an island believed to contain pirate treasure, who is pressured by the cable network televising the search, enlists the help of his headstrong daughter and the married archaeologist she is infatuated with. 112 pages - pdf format

Writer interested in feedback on this work

Hi Writer,

So reading a good portion of Kurtz of Goat Island - The first point I would like to make is that my feedback here is just my opinion and certainly not gospel. Just my experience as the reader.

You're a good writer, or at least a potentially good comedy writer. I thought it started off well, the first scene had a good comic set up - I Liked The bickering narrators, which also had that surprise element. The writing was good and flowed nicely.

However, reading on, I feel the story was lacking one major element - A hook. Some kind of set up or situation were I had to find out what happens. Your screenplay is 112 pages long - It's quite the commitment for a reader to read that amount so we must hook em some how. Get them too read to the end. It's a big ask - And I'm also talking to myself here. This screenplay felt more like a feature length sketch show. Funny at times, but no real engrossing story. No character journey that I could relate to. There's too many characters. Appreciate that it is a zany comedy, but's it too long. There's a lot you could strip out.

Back to a positive though - There is funny in there. Wonder if you should concentrate on shorter comic sketches? - Look out for the monthly OWC challenges on simply scripts. You often get the opportunity to write a comedy short and you get feedback from the other entrants. Any way good luck and keep writing!