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SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board    Unproduced Screenplay Discussion    Drama Scripts  ›  Ali Moderators: bert
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  Author    Ali  (currently 1012 views)
Posted: August 9th, 2019, 10:24am Report to Moderator
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Quoted from Faaniduniya
Yeah Ali's decision making is terrible. But you gotta understand, he doesn't care. All he wants is to finish off these people who we all know did what. Summer's death is too much for him, the way he deals with it is by throwing himself into training and fighting. That keeps his mind from thinking about other things until he comes across the Pashas which throws his mind completely off. He knows that it's not in his best interests to go after these guys, but he doesn't care.

I totally get that and as I said, one of the things I liked about the script is that Ali isnít your straightforward, infallible protagonist. He has his reasons, thatís undeniable. I guess, given the extent that he seeks revenge, even with a loving, pregnant wife waiting for him at home, I wonder could there be an extra motivator included to give greater justification for his continued vindictiveness. Yeah, grant him the attack on Javed, then the attack on Aqeel. However, in the process of doing the latter maybe, the Pashas strike back and hurt him afresh. Maybe an attack against the Dempsey family or something. That way, Aliís persistence is made more understandable and it feeds into that (albeit unoriginal) violence-begets-violence notion.

Plus, it will wake Ali up to the danger in which he is putting his loved ones while also giving Elena more reason to discourage him from perusing his cause. She now has first hand, tangible evidence (alongside the bullet). Itís one thing for Ali to have a personal vendetta and put himself in the firing line but when innocent people are getting caught in the crossfire just because of their association with him, it becomes an even more untenable crusade to those on the outside.

Finally, right now, Ali strikes back (Javed), then strikes again (Aqeel) and yet still heís entirely preoccupied with more vengeance without any real retaliation from the Pashas. If there is a bit of tit-for-tat conflict in there it will make it more dramatic. If the Pashas can hurt him in some way, it shows them to be a formidable outfit and raises the jeopardy. As itís written, they are more like punching bags for Ali in the scriptís second half and offer nothing in the way of counter threat. That is why I questioned your decision to have the Pashas lose all their influence and muscle once landing in America.

Quoted from Faaniduniya
The things with Elena is that, firstly, she falls head over heels for him. Ali is just the kind of person she's really attracted to.

Secondly, after finding out about Ali's past, she has a lot of sympathy for him and now understands why is he is the way he is. This is why she is relatively lenient towards him. Ali is frustrating, so hard to deal with at times. But she accepts him the way he is. She knows he has been through a lot, so she cuts him some slack, maybe too much slack. I am looking into some scenes more now, so you do have a point when you say she's too easy on him.

But she will easily forgive him for sure. She has to, if the guy realises his mistake especially a guy like Ali who has had such a rough past. Elena will definitely forgive him easily because she understands that it's not easy for him to let something like this go. But yes she will give him a hard time when he's pursuing those guys which I didn't exactly show.  So I will look into that.

Yeah right. I like how unabashedly smitten she is with Ali. I think thatís more difficult for women than men, to be so openly besotted with someone like that. And I agree, Ali certainly has the back story credentials to justify his actions in the scriptís second half but he goes too far and Elena needs to take him to task over that, particularly with a baby on the way. Yes, she can eventually forgive him, she has to, as you say, itís just the journey getting there should be much more fraught and embattled.

Anyway, I feel with those last responses Iím just repeating myself now. I appreciate why you made the choices you did and hopefully you have an idea of where Iím coming from. Itís your script and you know the best direction in which to take it.

Quoted from Faaniduniya
Yeah a lot of ppl have pointed this out. The thing is I wanna make a name that the American or Foreign audience can resonate too. I figured that Ali is a pretty popular name even though I did not even think of Muhammad Ali.  I'm probably gonna change his name to Danish AKA Danny.
Danish is a very popular Arabic name, and Danny goes perfect with it.

Really, you never thought of Muhammad Ali? I think that will be the first person everybody else will think of immediately. I understand the desire to pander to western audiences but Ali is just too obvious. Danish could work...although people might then think he has some Denmark connection. The Arab Viking or something

Quoted from Faaniduniya
Word circulates, his mother must've found out through someone. People talk. It's not that Ali's life is in danger, but he's just not in a good place. So his mother thinks that it's better to send him abroad where he can find it less hard to move on. They even expect him to quit MMA.

Fair enough.


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