Hey you, new to the board??
Whatever, I searched for something to read and bought into your title and logline (not completely perfect but draws interest for sure).
so read the first ten for now...
It's good. I like it.
I dig your style and the form you choose that much, that I'm careful to give any advice and keep suggestions to a minimum:
Don't place the copyright sign right behind your author's name.
The first slug is bad. Keep the actual time of day and specific name of places out of the slugline.
P3/4 With descriptions, I'd stop a page with a full sentence.
Otherwise, there's nothing to over think from my view on things here. Very cool performance of you, feels professional.
I'd read on for sure.
All best. |