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SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board    Unproduced Screenplay Discussion    Drama Scripts  ›  Nobody Loves You When You're Crazy Moderators: bert
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  Author    Nobody Loves You When You're Crazy  (currently 149 views)
Posted: November 6th, 2019, 1:08pm Report to Moderator

So, what are you writing?

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Nobody Loves You When You're Crazy by Steven Sallie - Drama -  Two teens struggle to manage their mental health issues as they fall in love and navigate the minefield of life. 88 pages - pdf format

Writer interested in feedback on this work

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Posted: November 6th, 2019, 6:38pm Report to Moderator
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Hey you,

a pitch only review from me...

The title is okay I think-

The logline reads like Silver Linings Playbook with teenagers and without any hint of a specific plotline.

Your words would express the same if you would cut twelve words and just write: Two teenagers with mental issues fall in love.

Of course the words struggle and that odd 'life is hard' part at the end tell us about theme, location, time, tone, specific obstacles/antagonistic force, motives, premise, goals - no, not really.

Not convinced here. No clue why you think/thought that such an empty pitch would work.

Good luck

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