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SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board    Unproduced Screenplay Discussion    Drama Scripts  ›  Inner Strength Moderators: bert
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Don
Posted: December 16th, 2019, 5:26pm Report to Moderator
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So, what are you writing?

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Inner Strength by William David Glenn IV - Short, Action, Adventure - A kung fu warrior must overcome his internal anger in order to defeat his sensei's killer. 5 pages

production: Three main roles. Three locations. A group of well versed fighters for our protagonist to kick through. Action packed. - pdf format

Writer interested in feedback on this work



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Matthew Taylor
Posted: December 17th, 2019, 4:34am Report to Moderator
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Hi William

I'll keep this short.

I really enjoyed it, especially liked the action cutting between the teachings, training in the woods, and the final showdown - The non-linear kept the story moving and interesting, so good style choice there.

My only criticism is that it feels rushed - especially the action. You obviously don't want fully choreographed fight scenes but I wanted more than "they fight" - the key moments in the fight, the feeling/emotion/turning points... a little more evocative.

Good work


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