SimplyScripts Discussion Board
Blog Home - Produced Movie Script Library - TV Scripts - Unproduced Scripts - Contact - Site Map
ScriptSearch
Welcome, Guest.
It is July 9th, 2025, 3:15am
Please login or register.
Was Portal Recent Posts Home Help Calendar Search Register Login
The primary purpose of the SimplyScripts Discussion Board is the discussion of unproduced screenplays. If you are a producer or director lookng for your next project, the works here are available for option, purchase or production only if you receive permission from the author.

NOTE: these screenplays are NOT in the public domain and MAY NOT be used or reproduced for any purpose (including eductional purposes) without the expressed written permission of the author.

New to SimplyScripts? - Tell us about yourself! | How does this discussion board work? - FAQs! | Submit Your Script
The July 2025 One Week Challenge comes, soon.

How do I get my film's link and banner here?
Short Script of the Day | Featured Shorts Available for Production | Guidelines and Censorship | Produced Script Database | Oscar Winning Screenplays through the Ages | WGA Top 101 Screenplays

Forum Login
Username: Create a new Account
Password:     Forgot Password

SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board    Unproduced Screenplay Discussion    Family Scripts  ›  The Kentucky Derby Moderators: bert
Users Browsing Forum
No Members and 3 Guests

 Pages: 1
Recommend Print
  Author    The Kentucky Derby  (currently 1681 views)
Don
Posted: January 8th, 2018, 11:10pm Report to Moderator
Administrator
Administrator


So, what are you writing?

Location
Virginia
Posts
17384
Posts Per Day
1.95
The Kentucky Derby by Scarlett Fox - Family, Sports, Horse Derby - A young sensible struggles to save her family farm hardships, and from losing their farm, so she enters her pet horse in the Kentucky Derby. She falls in love with her horse trainer, and becomes engaged to get married. She gets accepted at the University of Kentucky to become a Veterinarian. Strong faith pulls the family through a terrible tragedy in this Christian inspired love story.  102 pages - pdf format

Writer interested in feedback on this work



Visit SimplyScripts.com for what is new on the site.

-------------
You will miss 100% of the shots you don't take.
- Wayne Gretzky

Revision History (1 edits)
Don  -  March 19th, 2019, 11:50am
revised logline, genre move
Logged Offline
Site Private Message
RegularJohn
Posted: January 9th, 2018, 12:23am Report to Moderator
New


Every 23 months for 23 days, Johnny writes.

Posts
276
Posts Per Day
0.06
Hello Scarlett.

I suggest removing the conclusion of your logline.  If we know that her horse wins and saves her family from financial turmoil then it spoils the read, at least for me.

The page count is 102 but the PDF says 218 and I can see why.  It looks as if it were written in Word so I suggest downloading a screenplay writing software such as trelby (it's free), rewriting the story there and upload the new version.  As is, it's not properly formatted thus unlikely to get reviewed.  Best of luck.

-Johnny


Logged
Private Message Reply: 1 - 2
SAC
Posted: January 9th, 2018, 8:42am Report to Moderator
Of The Ancients



Location
Upstate NY
Posts
3540
Posts Per Day
0.78
It actually stops on page 103, but I agree with John that this needs some new formatting. Trelby, Celtx - those screenwriting format apps are good and they’re free. Good luck going forward with this script. Always been a fan of horse racing. I live very close to Saratoga racetrack, which I believe is the oldest track in the country.

Steve


Logged Offline
Private Message Reply: 2 - 2
 Pages: 1
Recommend Print

Locked Board Board Index    Family Scripts  [ previous | next ] Switch to:
Was Portal Recent Posts Home Help Calendar Search Register Login

Forum Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post polls
You may not post attachments
HTML is on
Blah Code is on
Smilies are on
Powered by E-Blah Platinum 9.71B © 2001-2006