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SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board    Unproduced Screenplay Discussion    Family Scripts  ›  The Kentucky Derby Moderators: bert
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  Author    The Kentucky Derby  (currently 966 views)
Posted: January 9th, 2018, 12:10am Report to Moderator

So, what are you writing?

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The Kentucky Derby by Scarlett Fox - Family, Sports, Horse Derby - A young sensible struggles to save her family farm hardships, and from losing their farm, so she enters her pet horse in the Kentucky Derby. She falls in love with her horse trainer, and becomes engaged to get married. She gets accepted at the University of Kentucky to become a Veterinarian. Strong faith pulls the family through a terrible tragedy in this Christian inspired love story.  102 pages - pdf format

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Revision History (1 edits)
Don  -  March 19th, 2019, 12:50pm
revised logline, genre move
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Posted: January 9th, 2018, 1:23am Report to Moderator
Been around a while

Every 23 months for 23 days, Johnny writes.

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Hello Scarlett.

I suggest removing the conclusion of your logline.  If we know that her horse wins and saves her family from financial turmoil then it spoils the read, at least for me.

The page count is 102 but the PDF says 218 and I can see why.  It looks as if it were written in Word so I suggest downloading a screenplay writing software such as trelby (it's free), rewriting the story there and upload the new version.  As is, it's not properly formatted thus unlikely to get reviewed.  Best of luck.


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Posted: January 9th, 2018, 9:42am Report to Moderator
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Cast Your Fate To The Wind

Upstate NY
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It actually stops on page 103, but I agree with John that this needs some new formatting. Trelby, Celtx - those screenwriting format apps are good and they’re free. Good luck going forward with this script. Always been a fan of horse racing. I live very close to Saratoga racetrack, which I believe is the oldest track in the country.


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