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Free 1 Page or Less Contest (currently 3506 views)
Posted: May 16th, 2007, 3:10am
Hey! That was pretty good. Reminded me of a graphic novel for some reason. Don't know why?
Here's mine anyway. I went for a drama too.
EXT. BEACH - DAY
GRANDPA sits on the sand. He is building a sand castle. Young TOMMY groans as he sets down a bucket of water nearby.
TOMMY Why couldn't we build it closer to the water, Grandpa?
GRANDPA Because it has to be far enough away. From the tide. The further away from the water it is the longer the castle will stand.
TOMMY It isn't going to last forever?
GRANDPA Nothing lasts forever Tommy.
TOMMY (hugs Grandpa) I bet you will.
GRANDPA (chuckles) I certainly hope so. (hugs Tommy) Let's finish this before the (ominous) Tide turns.
He tickles Tommy. Tommy shrieks then pushes himself away. Grandpa wriggles his finger at Tommy. Tommy runs away toward the water's edge, smiling as he screams.
Grandpa chuckles. He shakes his head as he stands. He hobbles off after Tommy, unintentionally knocking over the bucket of water in the process. The water floods the castle's side, eroding the wall it touches.
Grandpa nears Tommy. He wriggles his fingers again. Tommy shrieks and laughs. A wave's wake washes against Grandpa's leg. He stumbles but he continues his journey toward Tommy.
Tommy hops up and down, happy, excited, looking for the next direction to run. Grandpa is quite close now. Another wave's wake washes against his leg.
Grandpa stops. Alarmed.
Tommy quiets, concerned as he watches Grandpa fall to the ground. He hurries to Grandpa's side. He kneels next to Grandpa and shakes him. Tommy cries. Another wave's wake washes against them.
All good entries so far, but I think we all managed to make them quite visual, which would probably be weird in a live reading. Can't expect to squeeze to much dialogue into a 1 pager though, I'd imagine.
Here's my other one.
INT. EMERGENCY ROOM - NIGHT
PHIL, early forties, enters through the automatic doors holding a red stained towel over his right forearm. He takes a seat in one of the waiting room chairs next to a YOUNG WOMAN, early twenties. He looks over to her and nods.
PHIL Hi, Iím Phil. Whatís your name?
The young woman does nothing but stare at Philís bloody towel. Phil looks down at the towel, then back to the woman.
PHIL Just a little scratch. Nothing to be alarmed about. What are you in for?
Phil lightly chuckles as a NURSE, early thirties, rushes over to him.
NURSE Sir, I think we need to get you in right away.
PHIL No, Iím fine really. Itís just a flesh wound. I can wait.
NURSE Sir, please. At least let me look at it.
The nurse attempts to remove the towel, but Phil moves his arm around, evading her advances.
They struggle back and forth, swinging their arms, grabbing, and evading.
The towel falls from Philís arm, revealing a small tube with a bag of red dye attached to it. They both freeze, staring into each otherís eyes. The nurseís mouth wide open in shock.
Phil lowers his head, still maintaining eye contact with the nurse.
These are all pretty decent for one page. Just to put something in perspective, commercials (you know, those little irritating spots that take us away from our favorite shows?) are classically anywhere from 15-60 seconds, and the majority are 30. In 30 seconds, they tell a complete story, and pimp a product. That would be about half to a full page. Think about it.
That's an interesting point, George. I've been watching a lot of commercials lately, specific ones from good directors like Spike Jonze. I think it must be a great exercise for a writer and director to have to do so much in so little time.
DoP really gets a workout, too, in creating a look...you know what I find really impressive are those ads where you know what the product is four seconds in because it just "looks" like one of those ads.
Yeah, I never even thought to look at it that way which is weird because I love good commercials and I should have made that connection. Spike Jonze makes excellent commercials, but my favorite is Jonathan Glazer. Also, David Lynch's PS2 commercials are good.
The only drawback with the commercials relationship is that I've never seen a commercial script. In a booklet that came with my Jonathan Glazer collection, it just shows him writing out the ideas and scenes just with bullets, but perhaps I'm wrong.