Family Friendly by Ronnie Fordham - Horror - Contained script involving a house party that turns deadly for a teenage girl and her friends on the tenth anniversary of her notorious father's killing spree. 98 pages - pdf, format

What sort of "gem" did I stumble upon. First things first, congrats on knocking out a feature no easy task.

Now, I only covered the first 12 pages so far, and as I hope you can tell, am really happy I took a look at this. The tile is bit of tongue twister, but the premise was concise which is why I opened it.. I'm always under the assumption that how a premise is written will reveal some aspect of the writer's writing.

I'm enjoying all the character that have appeared so far, more importantly maybe the setup is looking promising. I hope you're still around man, so I can let you know what I think.

BLB

Oh, man. I saw he potential in the beginning. I had hopes. Unfortunately, I was only able to make it  to page 70.

Like I said before, I enjoyed the beginning. However, after the 30 minute mark it became too routine and passive, which is a common pitfall horror. The character began having the same conversation without adding anything new. There were a lack of revelation during the middle of the script which is where it needs it the most.

I like the aspect of whether Walter Friendly was still active or not but that only interesting for so long. The sequence where the group watches the "true life story" movie bugged the script down IMO.

Also, I thought, Blair was aware of her identity, and why her boyfriend would want to watch the movie, but I begin to think that he doesn't know because she doesn't know. Still not clear, maybe would of became clear if I kept  reading.

There's something here, I still enjoyed the beginning which is what you want in order to get people reading. Good luck.

BLB