Posthumous by Kevin Revie - Horror, Comedy - A zombie outbreak causes a family’s secrets to be unburied when they discover the undead have a specific agenda. 90 pages

Production: One location-ish - pdf format

Writer interested in feedback on this work

Thanks, Don! Happy to swap if anyone's interested!

Kevin,

This was a fun read.   Before I knew it, I was at the end.   I didn't notice anything that killed the flow of the story.  It progressed nicely.      

I liked Limousine Squirrel.  It took me a second to get it. Lol.

Page 26 - I would let Mason have that save.  Lucy runs down and screams to everyone Santa's coming down the chimney.   Instead of them already working on it.

Quoted Text PAGE 30 EXT. CEMETERY - DAY   A helicopter aerial view of a cemetery. A few of the graves have holes of zombies that had emerged.      JONATHAN (V.O.) Drone footage has shown the undead, after their intended attack, going back to peacefully lay back in their graves. A zombie walks up back to his grave and falls back into it like an old Nestea Iced Tea commercial.

Personally, I think it's too early in the story to find out the zombies are returning to their graves after the attack.   Up until then, I was wondering where they were going.   I think that information pays off the best at the end.

Quoted Text PAGE 42 Mason swaps her hand away. He jumps up, excitedly.

I think you mean swats her hand away.

Zombie Slinky ready for some revenge. Lol.  Are you going to write a sequel where the animals attack?   I'm guessing those rednecks are going to have some sheep to deal with. Lol.

If you have any specific questions, feel free to ask.   My opinion, as of right now,  it's a buttoned up well told story.  Good luck with it and Happy New Year!

All the best ,
Kevin L.

Hello fellow Kevin!

I really appreciate you checking this out. I'm happy you had a good time with it and that it flowed well for you. Keeping a story primarily set inside one house isn't an easy feat without it starting to get stale at times, so glad that wasn't the case for you.

Really helpful notes. You're absolutely right about the chimney save. I'm not sure why I didn't let Lucy have that moment but that will be reflected in the second draft along with your other points.

The sequel set up is definitely there. I need a zombie break before I dive into this world again to get some fresh ideas, but I think it would be fun! No specific questions. Flow was my biggest concern, alongside just if reveals felt warranted/satisfying. Mystery isn't my forte, so that sort of planting was new for me.

Thanks again! I'm happy to return the favor if there's anything you'd like eyes on! Cheers!