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Marvel should be ashamed of itself. With "X-Men," they proved that they where not going to be just handing out their precious franchises to the highest bidder for a quick buck. With "Spider-Man," they showed that they really did care for these characters, and wanted the film version to be authentic and entertaining. Sequels to both of the afoementioned films where even better than the original. I guess things just can't be too perfect; I guess both DC and Marvel can't be putting out decent films at the same time.
Two years ago, there was "The Hulk." It wasn't terrible, but it wasn't great either. Last year, we got "The Punisher," which actually was quite terrible. Now, Marvel has lost a few more points with the release of "Fantastic Four," a film that (and I hate to say this), can only be compared to one thing... the dreaded "Batman & Robin."
Those looking for an action movie will be dissapointed. Something that is not really shown in the previews (hell, it's not shown anywhere) is the fact that there is probably less than twenty minutes of this movie that actually has action in it. There's a scene on a space station, a five minute sequence on the freeway, and the last ten minutes in general. That's about it.
The puns come at a quick pace, and none of them are very good. Everytime Johnny Storm (a.k.a.: The Human Torch) came onto the screen, I cringed. He is given some of the worst and dated one-liners in motion picture history. Not to mention, he is sort of a dick, so when he goes on television and starts mouthing off, you don't really care that The Thing wants to punch his face in. There is no real drama in this; just stuff that I guess the writers and director thought we would care about.
And that's the problem. Not going to make an action film? Fine. Make a character-driven story. Nothing wrong with that. Just a quick hint, though: if you're going to make a character-driven story, make sure the audience cares about the damn characters. Here's a quick rundown:
The supposed genius, Mr. Fantastic, is actually quite stupid and his foibles end up causing about half of the ruckus in the picture. Jessica Alba as Invisible Woman is ultra hot, but shares the same fault of Tara Reid in "Alone in the Dark;" just because she is wearing glasses doesn't fool me into thinking that she knows what the hell she is talking about. As stated earlier, Johnny Storm is just irritating as hell. And Michael Chiklis as The Thing probably comes off as the most likable, though that's not saying much (his last line will leave quite the disturbing image in your head).
And then we come to the villian, Victor Von Doom. Now, I was never the biggest fan of the Fantastic Four comic. Through Spider-Man, The X-Men, and The Avengers, I would once and awhile read all about their combined exploits... but never just them. But one thing I do know (and probably anybody who reads any Marvel comic knows) is that Dr. Doom is the coolest and layered villain to ever grace any comic page. He is a tortured soul that hides his hideous face behind a metal plate and plots schemes that in his sick head are actually helping the human race.
Unfortunately, in this new film version, he is nothing more than a yuppie with too much power and not enough motive. Why does he hate the Fantastic Four? Frequently the film will cut to him watching the super group in his office through hidden cameras. Actor Julian McMahon gives Von Doom a look of complete loathing in his eyes. But why? In the comic, it was because an accident that was technically Reed Richard's fault (though it was actually Doom's) left him with a hideous and misfigured face that he was forced to hide behind a metal mask that was grafted to his face.
That's motivation.
In this, he's just a pissed off rich dude that, for some reason, puts on the mask (that can easily be removed) in the last ten minutes of the picture. It's like he just all of a sudden felt the need to be a super-villain and went with it. Hell, the unreleased, Roger Corman version of the film is defiantly not great either, but at least the character of Doom was more authentic then this one (it was just the costume that sucked).
Speaking of the 1994 version, a few years ago I reviewed that film for this website. I gave it a two star rating and wrote that though the film sucked, at least it was unintentionally entertaining. In this case, while it is technically better done, it's getting a lower rating simply because... well, this one's just boring.
Is there anything good to see in this one? I guess. What little action is there is alright, though a bit too coincidental (especially the freeway scene). Also, the ending where Doom actually is Dr. Doom is pretty decent, I just think it should have happened a half-hour before it actually did.
At one point in the film, Johnny Storm actually hands Ben Grimm an action figure of The Thing. That should pretty much show you exactly why this movie was made.
I thought War of the Worlds looked a whole lot better than Fantastic Four in the trailers. Even looking at the trailer of FF, I didn't think X-Men or Spider-man 2 or Spider-man.
I knew this movie was gonna suck almost a year befor it came out. I was lucky and got to be on the set, they filmed it not far from where i live in canada, and I get to meet Jessica Alba which was soooooooooooo cool. Anyway one of the camera men came up to me and said that this movie is soooooooooooo bad, he said the produceres are gonna have a look at the dailies and fire everyone. I thought that was funny
What's worse is on the commentary the actors say it's not that good but that's because origin pics always suck and I tend to agree with them but a lot of the time the sequels aren't much better.