now take the basic plot of 2001: a space oddysey....water it down  and put it in a jet. This is pretty much what this movie is. It's a blend of tons of unnecesary CGI and dumb dialogue. Now I was hoping that Jamie Foxx would save this film but man....his character was so annoying. Jessica biel did look pretty hot and was the only good thing about the movie. The CGI is alright but it is just unnessesary at times. The plot also bounces all over the place


so basically....wait and rent this on dvd or wait for it on HBO so you dont have to pay to watch such a big turd of a  movie...

It really didn't look good to me. After I kept seeing that stupid trailer on TV over and over again, I really just got annoyed with those guys. Yeah, I'm going to wait for PayPerView.

Hmm.. That's too bad I was kind of looking forward to this movie it didn't look that bad on tv .. Oh well I'll wait for DVD previously viewed!

This movie looked terrible from the moment I first saw the trailer.  My first impression was that it would be a dumb plotted movie with special effects galore, bad dialogue and a stupid romance.  After reading several reviews and laughing at its terrible performance in the box office, I now know it's much worse than that.

First of all, the dialogue they used in the trailers and TV spots...I mean my god.  The "that's hot" thing is so unbelievably annoying as is Paris Hilton.  Then there was that terrible joke with the "minas a twa" thing.  Again, very stupid.  THEN I heard you have to sit through an hour of garbage before the stupid action kicks in.  

And the whole plot is just dumb.  I wanna know why they managed to stretch this out to 120 minutes when it's a story about a plane wanting to start a war.  Why can't they just shoot it down?  Oh oh I get it, it somehow got magical force fields or it dodges every single weapon they fire at it!!  Whatever, this movie looks dumb and if you tell me to see it I won't, because I won't like it and I refuse to spend money on it.

I'm sure the target audience (those who like lots of cool CGI action and ix-nay on the ot-play) will enjoy the inane dialogue (which I understand DOES rival the dialogue of many porn movies) and watch the movie that when I first heard of it, rolled my eyes and thought "Hm, they borrowed a piece of Terminator...i.e. AI machine takes over and wants to kill everyone..." Wait, that's not Terminator. That's almost every single AI movie ever made since the dawn of Isaac Asimov. The Terminator was a CLEVER twist on that.

What can we get out of this? We know how thin copyright law is on this crap, and maybe one of us can come up with a much better plot for the premise or something.

What have I learned from reading about this movie? If you loved The Fast and the Furious...if you thought XXX was the best movie ever made...then you have a prayer of enjoying this film, though it is a step down from those two. Oh yes, and the EGI (the computer) can download songs...which songs? All of them. Too bad that doesn't count for anything.

And finally, you know how companies tend to put their best stuff in the trailer? Greg brought this up, so we've gotta hit it again. I leave you with this gem of writing:

Lt. Henry Purcell: Three is a prime number. The Holy Trinity, three musketeers.
Lt. Kara Wade: Three dimension.
Lt. Ben Gannon: Menage a trois, don't forget that one

I was doing some further reading on this and learned that the trailer was nominated in the Best Summer 2005 Blockbuster category in the Golden Trailer awards. That really doesn't say much for the movie, but those clever people who pieced together the trailer with what they had to work with.

It was beaten by War of the Worlds in this category.

You read about the whole thing here:
http://www.imdb.com/Sections/Awards/Golden_Trailer_Awards/2005

Oh dear lord. Yeah, sure, the first time you see that trailer on the big screen with jets flying everywhere, it's cool. But then they cut it down and play it on TV so many times it gets really old.

I find the 90-120 second theatre trailers far more enticing than the 15-30 TV spots. And that goes for pretty much every movie I reviewed several trailers on. I tend to be a sucker for those on the DVDs.

What's up with the human-machine-that-thinks-on-its-own deal with downloading songs?  I don't get it...Are the Menage a trois chasing it for illegally downloading music or something?  Oh no, I get it, by downloading every song on earth that must mean the soundtrack of "Stealth" is really good, right??  Whatever.

I couldn't stand the marketing campaing of this garbage.  It seemed like during every commercial break there was a TV spot for this masterpiece and every single one was stupid in its own way.  It reminds me of the marketing campaign for "What's the Worst that Could Happen?" a film from 2001 which also had a TV spot during every commercial break and it eventually bombed at the box office(as is Stealth, taking in only 13 million in its first weekend in over 3100 THEATERS!  Ha!)

If you like this movie then you must tell me why.  This looks just as bad as a Uwe Boll masterpiece.

Lt. Dummy: Where is it now?

Lt. Idiot: It's logging onto a pirated version of Napster Beta that allows it to access people's hard drives randomly to download all the MP3's they have.

Lt. Stupid: That's a lot of exposition.

Lt. Idiot: But wait, there's more. Don't ask me how I know, but the script says that the plane is flying over Kansas right now and we have to intercept it before it finds the newest music or RCA will sue the government for violation of pirating laws.

Lt. Dummy: Kansas? Isn't that where the secret missile installation is that was abandoned in the 60's but still actually works and manned by a skeleton crew for the purposes of something weird and sinister, yet completely unlikely, such as this situation?

Lt. Stupid: Yes, I heard about that.

Lt. Dummy: When?

Lt. Stupid: I read the script before filming, unlike some people on this set.

Lt. Idiot: It's impr...imperuh...imperat...

Director: Imperative.

Lt. Idiot: Oh, thanks. Are we editing that out?

Director: I'll check on it.

Lt. Idiot: It's imperative we leave right away before it gets to Nashville and wreaks havoc on the industry there, downloading the song files saved from the recording sessions and transmit then over the net before they are even burned onto their first CD!

All three: Aaaah!