At Phil's suggestion, I gave this one a viewing. As usual, the MST3K guys were right on the money with their tirade of amusing and entirely approproate comments about the quality of the film as well as comments on the storyline.

But let's talk about the film part of this. This definitely ranks in the area of most horrible I've ever seen. Not only is the script awful, but the actual production is awful as well. The entire film is out of focus. The music is silly. The direction is amateurish and the pacing is boring. And my thought at the end is "how the hell did this film get made?" The MST3K guys got it right when the crew listing came on in the credits and they declared, "This film had a crew?!"

Well, I found the reason in the credits itself. As I was adding Hal Warren, the screenwriter, to my list of people to kill if I become president someday, I noticed it was produced and directed by the same. I also recalled from the earlier credits that he played the father. Bingo. He couldn't get his tripe piece of crap film made so he tried to do it himself.

Sorry, just thought I'd share. It's perfect MST3K material. The Chevrolet-sponsered B&W short at the beginning (Hired! Part II) was better than the film. At least it inspired me to great leadership.  

By watching bad movies, you learn to spot and avoid mistakes.

CROW:  "Joel, I'm afraid."

JOEL:  "Of what?"


Phil

MST3K provides actually very good commentary for bad movies. Not only is it comical, but it points out blatant movie making errors that we can all avoid. It's practically educational for people like us.

During the "wrestling scene" (If you've seen it, you know), we got the following jewels:

"There it is; the whole reason this movie was made."

"I see London, I see France. I see everyone's underpants."

One of my faves was during the MST3K movie where everyone was making a getaway and the guys said, "Oh look, they're escaping under the cover of mid-afternoon."

Another, during Hellcats, said this one during the opening scene when the loitering cops gave us a setup. "Hey great. It's Captain Plot and Detective Exposition."

During the Spider attack one (I forget the title), the music was building and building and then stopped to which they quipped, "Hm, the music budget ran out."

During "Santa Claus Conquers The Martians", a beast came after our heroes, and they just laughed at it.

It's a great show, but we cna learn from it, definitely.

The movie 'Cave Dwellers' was this sword and sorcery movie that started with a very long voiceover explaining the story so far.  After about five minutes of the Narrator going on and on and on, Tom Servo shouted, "Tolkien couldn't follow this plot!"

If I had the money, I'd buy the rights to the show and start up production again.


Phil

Wasn't this the one where this guy and girl are making out in a car, and another car speeds by, and one of the bots cries out "Way to go Steeeeve!" I loved that part. I think this one was due back at the video store before I could finish it.

I think that's it. That couple made out for, like, 2 days straight. They'd park, make out, get run off by the cops, park somewhere else, drink, make out again, get run off by the cops, park, drink more, make out again...

scary, ain't it?


Phil

Tell me you're kidding. Someone photoshopped that, right? I'm not sure which is scarier. The idea someone made it, or the idea that it would get an M rating.

It would have to get an M-rating, with all that smooching.


Phil