Two pages in and we have a lot of chit chatting. No hint at any horror. I would suggest setting the mood already on page one.
Page 4. A lot of dialogue that is just back and forth. Maybe add something more interesting. IMHO, this is fine in a feature, but in a short it's just fluff. Adding to the page count.
Page 7. Ash doesn't wake up when the witch hag cackles above her?
Finished. For me, there was too much stuff that really doesn't say anything. Doesn't add to theme, story or character for that matter. You need to think about what they are actually saying. What they are actually doing. Everything should reveal something of interest to the story. In a short you don't have a lot of time to do that, so it's really important here.
It was an easy read and the girls were kind of cute, but not much more than that.