Welcome, Guest. It is July 12th, 2025, 4:57am Please login or register.
The primary purpose of the SimplyScripts Discussion Board is the discussion of unproduced screenplays. If you are a producer or director lookng for your next project, the works here are available for option, purchase or production only if you receive permission from the author.
NOTE: these screenplays are NOT in the public domain and MAY NOT be used or reproduced for any purpose (including eductional purposes) without the expressedwrittenpermission of the author.
Two pages in and we have a lot of chit chatting. No hint at any horror. I would suggest setting the mood already on page one.
Page 4. A lot of dialogue that is just back and forth. Maybe add something more interesting. IMHO, this is fine in a feature, but in a short it's just fluff. Adding to the page count.
Page 7. Ash doesn't wake up when the witch hag cackles above her?
Finished. For me, there was too much stuff that really doesn't say anything. Doesn't add to theme, story or character for that matter. You need to think about what they are actually saying. What they are actually doing. Everything should reveal something of interest to the story. In a short you don't have a lot of time to do that, so it's really important here.
It was an easy read and the girls were kind of cute, but not much more than that.
Good story, but the ending is a little too neat. Is this the first run-in they’ve had with the grandmother since she died? You can’t kill a ghost, so what if instead of a boy ringing their doorbell at the end, it’s a trick-or-treater in costume who looks suspiciously like the ever-returning grandmother