Unnatural Disaster :: SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board

Here's a poem that I wrote for fun, though when an English assignment came up that called for at least one peom, I decided to use it. We had to read at least two pages of work for our oral presentation points, so I decided to read this poem plus a short story. My English teacher liked it, but I dunno...I'd like opinions from people I haven't even met in person before.

Take note, this is one of my poems that I've taken very seriously and was meant to be lyrics for a song I'd never sing, but instead made it into a poem about war.

Unnatural Disaster

As the sky transforms from light to dark
And we’re unable to see
That somewhere, something’s happening
Something to you and me.

We’re breaking down, one by one
Explosions everywhere
We hide and pray, our bodies shake
We watch the sky rip and tear.

Deep inside there is a pain
That brings in war and hate
Here and there, it’s everywhere
The battles tell our fate.

Guns and blood, no more lungs
To give our final voice
I can’t see, I cannot breathe
This is my final choice.

What’s happened? Why this?
What have we become?
Bring hope, bring dreams, take our greatest fears
Choose the right from what may come.

We fight and kill and scream and shout
But what might that do?
These wars we have, they’ll never cease
There’s nothing left to prove.

Turn back time, or movie it forward
Just let me live through this
It’s too bad to watch, to hear
Like contact: cheek to fist.

The ground shakes, the sky turns red
And those around have perished
The shockwave comes, the buildings fall
Destroyed the things we cherished.

Once again the sky grows dark
I hate to leave the light
The things around me start to die
And soon I know I might.

My heart slows down, my fingers burn
The wounds have gone too far
My breath is short, the pain is long
And before my death, I see the star.

The light
It’s bright
But there’s no one else around
To help guide me
Through this wondrous place of cloud.

Sean