As I go:

Page 1: Ahhh, the "How long has it been?"  One of the most epically classic exposition groaners.  Surely there's a better way.

Page 5:  I like the calm dialogue after the big reveal, but it's going on too long.
Probably a less on the nose to reveal her thirst for blood.

Page 6:  The knock on the door should come immediately after Maddy has resisted the rabbit.  Keep the tension up.  This one's in major danger of slowing down too much.

Page 7:  The viewing audience won't know the kid's name is Darling -- they'll think Maddy's calling him "darling".

Thoughts:

Hey, I rather liked this one.  It got a little slow in places.  I don't think you necessarily need to reveal more about the monsters, but I'd like to know more about the characters.  I'd like to see them have more of a story, go through more of a transition.  Maybe spend more time on it being a difficult transition to undergo.  Why is Charles so much better at controlling it than Maddy?

I think the premise is really neat and I think that with a bit more focus on what exactly the audience should be getting out of the Charles/Maddy interactions, this could be a really solid short.

Thanks for the fun read!

I thought this was okay. Written well enough to keep me to the end, I think my main problem was not really finding out how they became what they turned into though. Unless I missed something of course. It didn't even have to be a how, just a bit of dialogue along the lines of 'we should never have gone to those woods', just a little clue.

I don't know how others feel about this, plus the fact I'm still learning myself so am not sure, but I personally feel all numbers in dialogue should be written out. For example 'eleven years' instead of '11 years'. Not sure the official rules on this, another one where some of the more experienced writers can maybe chip in, but from my own personal point of view I prefer to see it written out.

Likeable but not great. It could be though.

Arty.

Yes, numbers need to be written out, unless it's a date or time....or a "number" as in a jersey or the like.

Thanks again for educating me, and maybe others too. Glad to know I had this one right though.

I think you succeed wonderfully creating atmosphere.  However, for me, the dialogue confused rather than developed the story. And the tension in the story takes too many turns for a short work.

I like where you were going with this, but I don't think it's quite there. The dialogue sounded a bit cheesy at parts, and I really would've liked to know at least something of the backstory. It has the beginnings of a nice little romance.

Congrats

Again, I find myself agreeing with Greg 100%

The story isn't bad, but the writing, typos and other errors brought it down for me. This one could easily be fixed into something good with a rewrite.

You nailed the OWC assignment though except for the low budget. Period piece and CGI or make-up for the transformation doesn't sound low budget.