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SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board    Unproduced Screenplay Discussion    Series  ›  Game of Thrones Season 8 Episode 1 Moderators: bert
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  Author    Game of Thrones Season 8 Episode 1  (currently 318 views)
Don
Posted: January 26th, 2019, 5:15pm Report to Moderator
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So, what are you writing?

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Game of Thrones Season 8 Episode 1: "If the Gods Are Good" by Luke Michael - Series, Drama, Sci Fi, Fantasy - {No logline} 82 pages - pdf format

New writer interested in feedback on this work


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PaulThompson
Posted: March 6th, 2019, 4:46pm Report to Moderator
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Just wanted to say that I opened this with little expectation to read much of it, but I read the whole thing. As a GOT fan, I was sucked right in. Overall I think you captured a lot of what one might see in a season 8 episode of the series. Perhaps a bit too much happening plot-wise compared to what might actually occur per episode, but in the context of a spec, it works. My only other concern in general is that there were a few too many convenient conversations revealing huge plot details between characters, rather than revealing through showing visually. In particular, Sam and Bran's dialogue comes to mind.

Nonetheless, it was a page turner (or burner) for me. Will watch for future work!
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ReaperCreeper
Posted: March 15th, 2019, 2:38pm Report to Moderator
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WARNING! SPOILERS!

I think you captured the essence of the show well, and you displayed some solid writing while doing so. Not the end I wished for Tyrion, but I can see why the threads you weaved resulted in that. I don't think the show will ultimately go that route, but you wrote this well enough that it boosted your scenario's credibility. The bit with Sam and Gilly where Sam totally misses the dragon made me giggle in the good way. For the most part, you also captured the individual voice of each character (and their respective actor as we've come to know them in these roles).

Some fairly minor nits here:

1. Whilst I understand the desire to show the Night King wrecking things now that the White Walkers have destroyed the wall, them taking out Karhold as portrayed here is a fairly "blah" way of showing it this early on, especially since we do not see Elyse Karstark die, unless I missed it. Having her there, however minor of a character she is, would really drive home that narrative bang that this vassal house who was with Robb, then with Ramsay, then with Jon, has actually and finally fallen.

2. Bran sees that Karhold has fallen, but doesn't see it beforehand? No crow scouts? We've seen him do it before, even if the Night King is able to thwart him. The army of the dead is not small; I feel that he would've picked up on it and warned people sooner. If done this way, even if their allies still could not help, either for lack of resources or lack of time, it would add a sense of panic and urgency to their impending loss as opposed to it feeling like "just" a way to tell the audience that the wights are coming closer. Generally speaking I would've expected people on all sides to be getting way more tactical at this point.

3. Despite his loyalty to Jon, I feel Lord Royce would've had a hell of a lot more of a bone to pick with Dany and wouldn't have so readily accepted her rule, despite her speech. This is a man who lived through the Mad King days and was good friends with the Starks, of which the Mad King killed 2. I'm not saying he would openly oppose her or refuse to side with her, but he wouldn't just stay quiet IMO.

I liked how you called back to Ellaria Sand, something the show decidedly fumbled with when Dany didn't even mention her potential rescue last season.

All in all, this was a good effort. To add to that, the fact that this is a teleplay and not a movie script technically makes it a sample spec as opposed to mere fan fiction, worthy of putting in your portfolio if you intent to write for television (if only to prove that you know the universes you want to write in well).



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Luke
Posted: March 19th, 2019, 5:15pm Report to Moderator
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Hey RC and PT, just wanted to say thank you for reading and the feedback! I thought both of your responses were thoughtful and helpful in showing me where I could improve. Can't thank you enough and I will definitely apply the constructive criticism in future work.
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