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SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board    Unproduced Screenplay Discussion    Series  ›  All About The Music Moderators: bert
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Don
Posted: August 3rd, 2019, 3:24pm Report to Moderator
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So, what are you writing?

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All About The Music by Steven Sallie - Series, Drama - The pilot for an HBO/Showtimes type series chronicling the rise of a local level band from humble beginnings to stardom.  31 pages - pdf format

Writer interested in feedback on this work



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eldave1
Posted: August 4th, 2019, 12:43pm Report to Moderator
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Hey, Steven:

I had a chance to read ten pages of my morning coffee.

You write well - smooth, clear and concise. That being said, I didn't find the premise compelling.

SPOILERS

I've seen this premise play out too many times to be interesting - down trodden band/singer performing at dives and then one day the mysterious manager's in the crowd - hands them the card. So while I found the writing solid, the story wasn't original enough to spur me on to read more.

Best of luck with this


My Scripts can all be seen here:

http://dlambertson.wix.com/scripts
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