And you're right... it was a pointless jont thru a night of -- mistakes, fumbles and other little oversites... however, to establish the main character was the goal.

I wanted everyone to see her for what she was and then at the same time, see this mysterious man... who we don't know. We can't see what he looks like. What is he? Who is he? What's his story? I think I did a good job of working this in.

The story was set into motion by EVA's need for a mate atleast once a month. I think the comedy bits kinda threw it into a new light and it made the slow parts worth the read.

As I said before, it is slow... it has to be. This is not a gore out, horror film and it's not really a horror film at all, really... it's more like a "WHAT IF"

I don't know if you caught the name sake, but everything in this was a little parody hankerd... It was ment to be a little silly, a little serious, a little scary and a little slow... I think I pulled off all these things.

I do agree with you that there are a multitude of things that could be re-worked or fleshed out more... but really at the end of the day you just gotta say... WHY?

I did what I set out to do and that was to make a fun little story to end WALSTIB 2... it went well with the mix of the other 4 stories and it actually made the whole movie better.

While MIDNIGHT SNACK, is far from my best work... it is my only vampire movie and I thought it was fun to write. I like the calm nature of EVA ALUCARDSI... I like her attitude and I think it was even more fitting when she meets her demise at the hands of something even more dangerous than her.

It's a fitting ending... I don't know if it was so much predictable as it was versed. I think that picturing the movie in motion as you read diverts your attention away from the little things that clue you into the ending.

The moon... the newspaper clipings... the serial killer... etc etc etc

I also threw that in there for that reason... did you really know he was so much the werewolf or did you ever really know that EVA was actually the serial killer...? It was a fun little story.

Also, EVA's name backwards is actually... "IS DRACULA" "EVA ALUCARDSI"

Fun little fact ^^^^^^^^

Anyway, thanks for your time on reading it and I'm glad you got some enjoyment out of it. Like I've said before... I hate reading something bad, looking at the clock and then coming to the notion you've wasted your time.

I agree with you on somethings and of course... disagree on others. However, it's a fair review and you took the time to not only read it, but review it too.

Thank you much

Balt...

P.S. I've got the TOLL posted if you're interested in the 1st story of WALSTIB 2... it's another short that starts off the movie. The hub is gone however

Actually, I disagree with your cry for why. because it makes the movie (or short) better or even near perfect. Flesh it out, complete the characters.

You got a working thing going on and some really original thoughts, improve it and make it even better. Something to gloat about.

I got the alucard thing, I'm familiar with the name, it pops up in other movies and games and whatnot. Not really something shocking, but an okay add. When I read I always try to see the movie run before my own eyes, yours succeed well and that's a good compliment. However it's not the reason I picked up the twist. Your standard average moive goer probably won't see it coming, but it's not all that fantastic. It's just a cool ending. Like I said, you probably should flesh it out more into a battle. A battle of wits even.

You even said that establishing the main character was the goal, then why go with the anticlimatic ending? Go over the top, I really think it would give that extra umph and justify the slow parts.

I read the Toll already, mixed feelings. Brent was pretty well written, but the Troll reciting the same line got repetetive. The troll bashing through the booth was great though.

I think that the mystery behind the characters, actually completed the characters. I think that knowing who and what EVA is within the 1st 5 minutes was a big plus and that not knowing who the STRANGER was until the last 5 minutes was the glue that held it together.

See, I could have had a two sided affair, but why...? We know that their is something not right with the guy... is he the killer they speak of in the papers? Is he just the next victim or is he something more... something more sinister than even EVA?

We know that he will fall into one of the above... but what one is it?

I agree with you on trying to flesh it out, but actually... their isn't a need to do so. I could have made it a bit funnier -- have alot more scares -- more action, but all of the above are not what it was about.

They were just little pieces of the big puzzle and at heart it was a thriller/mystery vampire tail that spans 1 night of a girls life.

I think the shocking part was that EVA got it, instead of "SAID" victim she set out for... it didn't matter if he was a werewolf or a ZOMBIE or even an alien...

I think by giving EVA the upper hand at the end, it would just stale and tarnish the story. E.C. comics and all them STRANGE TALES stories really shine thru here...

I do however like the idea you gave about them playing mind games with one another... maybe even a battle between the two... something to think about, if I do choose to do a 5th draft.

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Also, the TOLL... yeah it was a 2nd draft... the ending is way different than the version you read. Also, the TROLL has a more varried set of sayings. The SIX FIFTY thing was funny, cause of the repeat and the PAY THE TOLL OR FACE THE TROLL, actually comes from an old  old old old feiry tale... I love very much.

Brent in the final draft is much more polished and his talking to himself is cut down alot. He has a lot more dialouge with the police and the gas station attendant "who shares the same name with Mr. LEVANT from WALSTIB" His wife is actually heard also and even seen in the final draft.

The car being pulled out of the lake is funnier than hell too... with a neat little pop culture reference to GEICO by the truck driver.

Anyway, thanks for reading the toll aswell... I wish the hub were intact on these, so you'd see the big picture... as they only really work with the hub intacts.

Balt...

It's pretty good. I pretty much knew what the ending would bring, but I still enjoyed it. I do think you are a strong writer - you can see it in your work. What's important to me when I am reading a script - is mentally being able to picture the scene. For all your work, I can always picture the scenes perfectly (something that I am trying to do myself).

Good job.

hey baltis i have a question if u have aol and any instant messaging IM me on urine1989   if not email me on freakscream112@aol.com