I hate to bump my own thread, but I wanted to let everyone know a revised draft is now online with a lot of the suggestions that were given to me. Thanks again for all of the feedback! I really appreciate it.

I hate to bump my own thread (again), especially one as old as this, but I'm happy to announce Coprophagia made it to the semi-finals at Shriekfest in the short screenplay category. This would have never happened if it weren't for this website and the wonderful people on it. Thanks so much!

Quoted from Sham I hate to bump my own thread (again), especially one as old as this, but I'm happy to announce Coprophagia made it to the semi-finals at Shriekfest in the short screenplay category. This would have never happened if it weren't for this website and the wonderful people on it. Thanks so much!

Congrats, Chris.
Good for you!

E.D.

Okay - a few short notes on this one.

1) Totally friggin' disgusting

2) VERY well written.

3) God help me, I actually liked it...on a technical and overall level.    (Despite the cringe inducing grossness.)

Actually, IMHO - I'd add one or two extra booster lines to the end.  

Something along the lines of having the Dr. mutter about responsibility and "people controlling their animals" - followed by the receptionist agreeing that "some people shouldn't have pets."  

That's not *quite* the best wording, but just something to add extra animosity to enhance the believability of the Dr.'s evil plan.

God help the actors if this ever gets filmed....

I read this and yeah, it's really well written. Well paced, all technically fine.  

I'm not sure how it would play out as a viewing experience. Usually, scat is played for laughs. The tone of this (to me, anyway) seemed very serious. I've read the above posts and you say you kept the tongue in cheek. I can see it... just about. Hopefully when filmed with good actors that would be more obvious.

In general, as a person that likes the more diverse ideas for films, I really enjoyed it.

Well done, and good look with the finals.

Good luck Chirs and congrats on being a finalist. I'll be cheering for you to win the whole damn thing.

James

Quoted from Electric Dreamer Congrats, Chris. Good for you! E.D.

Thanks, E.D.

Quoted from wonkavite Okay - a few short notes on this one. 1) Totally friggin' disgusting 2) VERY well written. 3) God help me, I actually liked it...on a technical and overall level.    (Despite the cringe inducing grossness.)

LOL, thanks for the read! It's okay to like it. I won't judge.

Quoted from wonkavite Actually, IMHO - I'd add one or two extra booster lines to the end.   Something along the lines of having the Dr. mutter about responsibility and "people controlling their animals" - followed by the receptionist agreeing that "some people shouldn't have pets."   That's not *quite* the best wording, but just something to add extra animosity to enhance the believability of the Dr.'s evil plan.

I get what you're saying. I'll spend some time on it and see if I can think of something.

Quoted from wonkavite God help the actors if this ever gets filmed....

Agreed x 1000!

Then again, how many actors did Pier Paolo Pasolini get for Salo, or the 120 Days of Sodom that were required to eat shit (or some semblance of it anyway)? I guess some actors prefer the juicier roles...

Quoted from Basket Case I read this and yeah, it's really well written. Well paced, all technically fine.   I'm not sure how it would play out as a viewing experience. Usually, scat is played for laughs. The tone of this (to me, anyway) seemed very serious. I've read the above posts and you say you kept the tongue in cheek. I can see it... just about. Hopefully when filmed with good actors that would be more obvious.

The tone of this script was definitely the most challenging aspect. I agree that it comes off very serious, but in some ways, I think it needs to be. The gross-out moments would seem more ridiculous as opposed to revolting if I played up the humor too much. I feel like the underlying cheekiness comes from the overbearing seriousness.

Quoted from Basket Case In general, as a person that likes the more diverse ideas for films, I really enjoyed it. Well done, and good luck with the finals.

Thanks so much, Basket Case! I'm glad you enjoyed it.

Quoted from jwent6688 Good luck Chirs and congrats on being a finalist. I'll be cheering for you to win the whole damn thing. James

Thanks so much, James! But don't get too far ahead -- I haven't even made the finals yet. Fingers are crossed.  

hey Chris,

first and foremost, congrats on making it to the semi-finals. best of luck. hope you win.

when i read the logline (and some of the posters comments), i HAD to read this. a story about people eating dog shit? fuckin A.

overall i enjoyed this one. it was so out there and unique, that i admired it for being so different. objectively speaking, the writing was pretty good and the characters were decent. im glad the nurse had a cold- it worked perfectly for the story. mostly everything that happens in this story happens for a reason. furthermore, one can answer all of it's questions after doing some investigating. to me, screenplays are a mystery. i like to ask why certain things happen and why certain devices are contained in the story. therefore this short was a lot of fun.

but perhaps the biggest obstacle this short faces is "why do the humans eat the dog shit?" several posters have brought it up and it seems like several of them cant wrap their heads around the concept. and this makes sense. a dog eats his own shit because it smells good AND he doesnt know any better. now it doesnt matter how good dog shit smells, a person isnt going to eat it...because its still shit. actually let me rephrase that. a person wouldnt eat dog shit publicly. would they do it in secret? maybe. ive often compared eating chili cheese dogs from dairy queen to jeffrey dahmer. i know what im doing is wrong and disgusting, but it tastes so damn good that i cant help myself. so i eat it behind closed doors and yell at anyone who walks in on me performing my gut-wrenching act. and i feel like the same applies to eating dog shit...especially if you have a hot bitch staring you down. i dont care if dog shit smells like surf n turf, im still not going to eat it at the risk of not getting laid. overall i think its something for you to think about. you might need to explain how the appeal of dog shit overpowers all common knowledge of right and wrong. furthermore, maybe you should include how the people eating dog shit feel ashamed while doing it. then again, perhaps i missed something. maybe the dog poo has mind controlling powers.

interesting idea that i think needs to be tweaked a bit more. an enjoyable read for sure.

oh and i kept wondering why the protag didnt take the pill himself? might be an interesting angle to explore

Sham

Just got around to reading this but firstly well done on the competition. Best of luck for the next stage.

Whilst an unusual subject it seems to me quite clear why this has done well. It's well  written, has some nice twists and reveals and makes you wonder what's next even though you have a sense of what will happen.

My lasting thoughts. 1) why would a pill infect a human if eaten by a dog? 2) why would this infect others or activate others?  Could a spray or cream be better?

If the subtext is that others also do this, have this etc then maybe a vet in isolation seems at odds. Now I'm rambling.

All the best.

Quoted from albinopenguin hey Chris, first and foremost, congrats on making it to the semi-finals. best of luck. hope you win.

Thank you very much!

Quoted from albinopenguin when i read the logline (and some of the posters comments), i HAD to read this. a story about people eating dog shit? fuckin A.

Awesome! I've always wanted to create a concept film (think The Human Centipede), so this is great to hear.

Quoted from albinopenguin overall i enjoyed this one. it was so out there and unique, that i admired it for being so different. objectively speaking, the writing was pretty good and the characters were decent. im glad the nurse had a cold- it worked perfectly for the story. mostly everything that happens in this story happens for a reason. furthermore, one can answer all of it's questions after doing some investigating. to me, screenplays are a mystery. i like to ask why certain things happen and why certain devices are contained in the story. therefore this short was a lot of fun.

This might be the best feedback I've received so far. Thank you! This really shows me you followed the story, understood it, and even went back to pick it apart, which is exactly what I wanted. There are many intentional layers to this story that some people haven't even picked up on (how about when the doctor says the pills used to treat malnutrition for the people in Somalia? Yick).

Quoted from albinopenguin but perhaps the biggest obstacle this short faces is "why do the humans eat the dog shit?" several posters have brought it up and it seems like several of them cant wrap their heads around the concept. and this makes sense. a dog eats his own shit because it smells good AND he doesnt know any better. now it doesnt matter how good dog shit smells, a person isnt going to eat it...because its still shit. actually let me rephrase that. a person wouldnt eat dog shit publicly. would they do it in secret? maybe. ive often compared eating chili cheese dogs from dairy queen to jeffrey dahmer. i know what im doing is wrong and disgusting, but it tastes so damn good that i cant help myself. so i eat it behind closed doors and yell at anyone who walks in on me performing my gut-wrenching act. and i feel like the same applies to eating dog shit...especially if you have a hot bitch staring you down. i dont care if dog shit smells like surf n turf, im still not going to eat it at the risk of not getting laid. overall i think its something for you to think about. you might need to explain how the appeal of dog shit overpowers all common knowledge of right and wrong. furthermore, maybe you should include how the people eating dog shit feel ashamed while doing it. then again, perhaps i missed something. maybe the dog poo has mind controlling powers.

Yeah, it's definitely been difficult for most readers to wrap their heads around such an outrageous concept. Appealing dog shit? Really?

I'm hoping the descriptions of their eyes "rolling over white" convey just how strong the pill's side effects can be. Could it be that the shit is not only releasing an appealing smell, but a mind-altering chemical that only affects humans?

Quoted from albinopenguin oh and i kept wondering why the protag didnt take the pill himself? might be an interesting angle to explore

I actually wondered and considered exploring this myself. I just could never find a rational reason for Jeff (or any other character) to ingest the pill.

Thanks again!

Quoted from Reef Dreamer Sham Just got around to reading this but firstly well done on the competition. Best of luck for the next stage.

Thank you so much!

Quoted from Reef Dreamer Whilst an unusual subject it seems to me quite clear why this has done well. It's well  written, has some nice twists and reveals and makes you wonder what's next even though you have a sense of what will happen.

Great to hear, and thank you!

Quoted from Reef Dreamer My lasting thoughts. 1) why would a pill infect a human if eaten by a dog? 2) why would this infect others or activate others?

I would scroll up just a bit to the response I gave albinopenguin.

Quoted from Reef Dreamer Could a spray or cream be better?

It could really be anything, I suppose. Something to think about anyway.  

Thanks again!