Alfy,

Some good points raised -- it’s always helpful to see what parts need clarity.  This was one of my first shorts and some of the format choices (VO vs. OS and others) were misguided -- hopefully the re-write (yet to be posted) will clear that up.  

Glad you liked the accent -- I was aiming for a rural slant -- geographically it’s way off, but the western counties accent was tricky to get across on paper.

Funny, this was intended as light-hearted comedy, yet several people have taken it as a more serious piece.  Think it depends on where your coming from as it's pretty keyed to a certain region/culture.  Either that or my sense of humour's way off...  

Thanks again for the read. Let me know if I can return the favour.

Steve.

I saw this as a (excuse the language) piss-take documentary, which I think is what you were aiming for?  Weirdly I thought the characters spoke with an accent I hear as my own; Northern, though I know Bodmin couldn't be much further away.  I couldn't comment on whether the dialogue was regionally correct but it came across well.