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My Doctor by Mark Renshaw - Short, Sci Fi, Fantasy - A 50th anniversary special episode of Doctor Who starring every incarnation of the Time Lord. An ordinary day finds Mark in a café eating breakfast when in walks Matt Smith dressed as the Doctor. Bemused and starstruck, Mark plays along until Matt insists on a tour of his TARDIS to prove he is the real deal. Realisation soon hits home - This is no ordinary day, Mark is in very real danger and the only person who can save him is a fictional mad man in a box. 40 pages. - pdf, format
I realise this is long for a short and didn't know there was a page length restriction, so sorry about that. I also realise if you've never watched Doctor Who you won't have a clue what is going on lol! However I'm pleased to say this script has been featured on a fairly high profile website
I like the doctor, what do you reckon of Danny Dyer as the next doctor? haha
You know what I would love to see - a feature length daleks film without Dr. Who, set as just a normal sci-fi film. If you'd like to collab on that let me know!
Actor trying to write...
"A good script is never rejected because of layout or lack of technical jargon. If people like it, then any experienced film or TV PA or secretary can lay it out in professional manner and add all the technical terms necessary"
-- Ronald Wolfe "Writing Comedy"
"We don't make movies for critics, since they don't pay to see them anyhow."
I don’t usually like fan fiction and your premise (at first) didn’t really attract me but I needn’t have worried. By page three you had me hooked. You got the Matt Smith’s doctor down PERFECTLY, the frenetic activity, the dialogue, the eccentricity; it’s all authentic. There are 100% pure Doctor Who lines throughout.
This is a real treat for the fans (and you throw in Hitchhikers and Monty Python as well for good measure), I’d love to see this as an animated short at a SF convention. I was pleased you got Tom Baker (I had to wait till page 29!!!) and the other doctors in eventually. As much as I like Matt Smith (more than David Tennant and much, much more than geezer-bloke Christopher Eccleston) I grew up with the cheap and cheerful earlier versions of Tom Baker and Jon Pertwee (just- who I watched as a toddler).
A concern I had at first was that this was going to be a repetitive series of adventures with all the high profile bad guys. After the Cybermen I thought we’d get Sontarans, Weeping Angels and so on, ignoring any sense of structure or story arc, but you didn’t thank goodness. Actually at mid point I notice that you have some character growth and self doubt/ questioning which I thought improved the script, as was the very personal reference to Marcus Delinus. I did think though that Mark should have gradually worked out, step by step that he’s in a coma. (By the way, the Doctor says very early on he believes that the protagonist is definitely not in a coma). If he was more active in this regards I feel it would have made this MacGuffin device work much better.
I liked the explanation for the story (a twist on the ‘It was just a dream” cliché) and using the Doctor as a metaphor for his brain repairing itself – I think there could have been more drama here near the end with failed attempts and setbacks as the Doctor tries to work his magic.
In my opinion the last page is unnecessary. I feel the script should have ended with Mark calling for a doctor then all we see is a doctor’s white coated back and an ambiguous look on Mark’s face - then the end (maybe with Doctor Who music). We don’t need any more metaphysical speeches, everything’s been said. But that’s just my opinion.
Anyway, great script – regular beats throughout that kept me reading and lots here for the initiated to enjoy (so glad you got the famous William Hartnell lines in there)
Finally, the polish on this script is evident and hardly a typo in sight but I did notice one or two things: - Page 4, space between name and dialogue (The Doctor – do you get it?) - Page 7 (lade a trap) isn’t it “laid”? - On page 7 and 8 you repeat the being in a coma bit? “I must be in a coma. Something must have happened to me.” P. 7 There’s something wrong with me, I must be in a coma. P. 8
- Why do you call William Hartnell, William Hartnell and not William Hartnell Doctor? Is it because he’s the first one, or is it an oversight?