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I appreciate the sentiment here but it does feel rather simplistic. Kid plays too many games because he has no friends so father takes him outside to play catch, not much more to be said really.
It almost feels like a public service ad for model parenting or “noticing the signs that your kid is lonely/depressed/isolated, etc”.
Its only two pages so I don’t know what I was expecting.
I was also wondering what happened to the mother and sister...cue ominous music...to be revealed in the sequel perhaps
A well written script but I just failed to see the message here. I felt it lacked a little passion, maybe a different approach on the father son relationship?
Lee,
I believe the message is simple and clear. If you're a parent you might see it right away. Like Col said -- it's recognizing the signs that a child might be in trouble, or headed for it. It's a parent's responsibility to intervene any way possible. Here, I used a simple act of having a catch as a way for a parent to connect with his child.
Thanks for the read, Lee!
Quoted from Col
It almost feels like a public service ad for model parenting or “noticing the signs that your kid is lonely/depressed/isolated, etc”.
Exactly. And this is how I've been marketing this piece because there's simply not enough flesh on the bones for it to work as a real story, hence the message being direct or simplistic.
Quoted from Col
I was also wondering what happened to the mother and sister...cue ominous music...to be revealed in the sequel perhaps
A few people have mentioned that, but rest assured, mother is most likely running errands and sister, perhaps, is at soccer practice! No need to go dark here. Although I can certainly see the fun in it.