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SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board    Unproduced Screenplay Discussion    Short Scripts  ›  I.W.A.S.K. Hercules' Revenge Moderators: bert
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  Author    I.W.A.S.K. Hercules' Revenge  (currently 963 views)
Posted: June 23rd, 2016, 4:07pm Report to Moderator

So, what are you writing?

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I.W.A.S.K. Hercules' Revenge by Buck Biestek - Short, Comedy - What do you do when you escape the electric chair? You seek REVENGE! 27 pages - pdf, format

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Posted: June 23rd, 2016, 4:49pm Report to Moderator

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I got to page 12 before I had to call it quits.  

**spoilers, kind of**
The dialogue doesn't seem natural at all and the use of capitalization on almost every second word was starting to get annoying.  Surely everything can't be that important to the script that it needs to be capitalized.  For instance "Stanley Stinkles STANDS steady".  Does that really need to be capitalized?  There are a load of others all over the script.  

The use of "we see" also pops up a lot.  Think about it for a minute.  Of course "we see" it, it will be right there on the screen.  There's no need for "we see".  It just starts to get annoying after a while.

That's only a few things.

I didn't get to the end so I'm not sure what happened, but with the way things were going, I'm not too sure if it was going to be good.
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Posted: June 28th, 2016, 2:24pm Report to Moderator
Been Around

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I tried this, but I couldn't get through it.  Reads like a graphic novel without the pics.  Sorry.

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