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Eh, this was okay. Charming in a sort of exaggerated way on the notion of it being a sci-fi story, and at least from what I can gather, a few jabs at President Bush. "We need more men on Irak system...it is ruined by Schlong torpedoes..." Yeah, that had me cracking up. I don't know if it was just a misuse of grammar or what, but it was funny.
This was hilarious though technically not the greatest script in the world. The descriptions were bizarre and often difficult to read. It's not just the grammar, which was off. The wording was just awkward somehow. The dialogue was the same. I did love some of the lines though. "We retired GOD!" and "Yucky! Yucky! Yucky!" were among my favorites.
The plot was pretty basic. An intergalactic battle. At least, that's what I think it was. In addition to the shoddy descriptions, I was thrown off by some of these names. Schlong torpedoes? Faecal coliforms? Vadge 4000? I was cracking up the whole time. I mean, I just couldn't take this serious. Somehow I think that was your intention though. In any case, the twist ending was clever. Something I didn't expect to come out of a script like this.
All in all, this was an extremely bizarre but overall amusing read, whether or not the humor was intention.
I won't comment on story, characters, structure, or format, since it seemed to me that you were just having a bit of fun while writing this. And yeah, I admit it, you stole some chuckles from me, my friend. As usual.
I didn't like this one to much. The ending was alright, but I didn't get any of it. I didn't find it really funny, and it just seemed like a bunch of stuff thrown together and a bunch of shots at Bush, and just...blah, whatever. It was just confusing and seemed to take forever.
"Picture Porky Pig raping Elmer Fudd" - George Carlin "I have to sign before you shoot me?" - Navin Johnson "It'll take time to restore chaos" - George W. Bush "Harry, I love you!" - Ben Affleck "What are you looking at, sugar t*ts?" - The man without a face "Whoever does any work on the Sabbath day must be put to death." - Exodus 31:15 "No one ever expects The Spanish Inquisition!" - The Spanish Inquisition "Matt Damon" - Matt Damon
Very creative indeed, as always. I kinda liked it though some of the things mentioned kinda threw me off now and then. All those numbers! Schlong torpeoes was funny man. And the ending was pretty good so all in all I liked it dude.
It's the weirdness in the writer that I love. His quirky ways. Ooops did I give it away? The hidden meaning and second though humor. 10 out of 10 for quirky. And the schlong torpedo... Whoa! Lets not get penetrated by one of those.
I liked this one! You can read quite deeply into this one if you want. Sure there was a little bit of a language problem here, but I really dug the story. I thought it was very clever. My guess would be that Helio wrote this one.
Pretty officer or Petty officer? Doesn’t matter if that was intentional or not, Larry Queen was a suitable name anyway. I love how you played Girl From Ipanema in the background! It was just so out of place.
Mr. Bush, more men on Irak System, schlong torpedoes, 2007 Senate a new central computer, haha.
“We are the knights of the liberty; the hope of the Universe we have been; No matter we will do, our motto is fraternity”.
This script is littered with things like this.
I really liked it and I for one would like to see one of Kevan’s full deciphering of this one, because I’m sure I missed a lot of them.
I was kind of lost to be honest, until the theatre part. i think this might have had something to do with the long names that made the format look off. In diualogue, I think you should shorten the names so that they look a little more centered. I also don't know what the first part had to do with popcorn, but I knew it was mentioned. Was it the name of the ship?
There were definetely parts that made me laugh though, which contrasts with the ending. I'm not sure whether or not the ending was meant to be funny--I didnt see it that way, but maybe I was looking at it wrong.