Blade Man by Samuel Lamayo - Short, Action, Adventure - A teen named Howard,once dreamt of a new experience,is now set on a mission to bring vengeance to his family. 24 pages - pdf format

Writer interested in feedback on this work

Samuel - opened this. Just from the first 1/3rd page I'd recommend that you do some clean-up.

Quoted Text INT.EVANS' HOUSE MORNING HOWARD'S ROOM

Should be:

INT. EVAN'S HOUSE - BEDROOM - MORNING

Quoted Text HOWARD EVANS wakes up in the morning from the bed.

Don't need in the morning - it's in the header already. Give us an age an a description - this is your main character. e.g., something like:

HOWARD EVANS (30), stirs awake. He has a thick build, balding hair.

Whatever - let's us see him as you do.

Quoted Text He fixes his bed; Take a bath, and dress up.

You can't do this - that's two or three different scenes. You could not reference them at all and just show him in the next scene showered and dressed - but you can't do it the way you did.

Also - should be dresses.

Quoted Text MARIA EVANS(HOWARD EVANS' mother) calls him for breakfast.

Delete Howard's Mother - it's an unfilmable. Just have him refer to him as Mom later.

Quoted Text HOWARD EVANS (V.O) This is my daily life. As you can see,I love my family,My mom,Maria,My dad,Brian,who unfortunately died a few years ago.Fun fact,when my father is the most wealthiest man in the ciry.Still,there's mom to support me.But I want to be something else,something different.

Riddled with typos and grammar errors. Almost every line.

Check out Grammerly - it's a free tool.

Hope this helps. Best of luck.