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SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board    Unproduced Screenplay Discussion    Short Comedy Scripts  ›  Dirty Job
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Don
Posted: August 21st, 2019, 3:13pm Report to Moderator
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So, what are you writing?

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Dirty Job by Frank MacCrory - Short, Comedy - During the Great Depression, a desperate young man takes the worst job in a factory. The closer he gets to finishing his task, the worse things get. 5 pages

Updated version of WT script Crappy Job - pdf format

Writer interested in feedback on this work



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eldave1
Posted: August 21st, 2019, 8:09pm Report to Moderator
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Well written enough, but the story just wasn't for me. Somehow I wanted to see that foreman have to face the sewage work himself - a comeuppance.

I don't think you need all the songs.


My Scripts can all be seen here:

http://dlambertson.wix.com/scripts
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FrankM
Posted: August 22nd, 2019, 1:51pm Report to Moderator
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Thanks for the read, Dave.


Quoted from eldave1
Well written enough, but the story just wasn't for me. Somehow I wanted to see that foreman have to face the sewage work himself - a comeuppance.


That's another funny way that the short could end.


Quoted from eldave1
I don't think you need all the songs.


This is based on classic cartoons that bridged the silent-film era to the "talkies" and stuck around in some places ("Tom and Jerry" being the most famous). This version came up with a Depression-era song for the factory floor, which I think is a big improvement over the original I had in the Writer's Tournament.


Feature-length scripts:
Who Wants to Be a Princess? (Family)
Glass House (Horror anthology)

TV pilots:
"Kord" (Fantasy)
"Mal Suerte" (Superhero)

Additional scripts are listed here.
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eldave1
Posted: August 22nd, 2019, 2:19pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from FrankM
Thanks for the read, Dave.



That's another funny way that the short could end.



This is based on classic cartoons that bridged the silent-film era to the "talkies" and stuck around in some places ("Tom and Jerry" being the most famous). This version came up with a Depression-era song for the factory floor, which I think is a big improvement over the original I had in the Writer's Tournament.


Makes sense


My Scripts can all be seen here:

http://dlambertson.wix.com/scripts
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