I gave this a read as the log line contained a lot, and I wanted to see how you crammed that into 4 pages.
The log line does need work - doesn't read to easy
My first comment would be, is this the whole story? The story doesn't seem to end, it just kinda stops - There's no conclusion.
What is the point in Ace being non-binary? doesn't affect the story one bit, in fact, some one watching a produced version would not know they are non-binary. Just seems included to tick a box.
The story does not deliver on what the log line promises, he hallucinates, but they don't portray dark realities, nor do they get more intense.
As well as polishing up the writing (work on descriptions, show us only what we need to know, and in as few words as possible). I think the story needs a lot a work as well
Good look with it