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SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board    Unproduced Screenplay Discussion    Short Drama Scripts  ›  The Purple Elephant
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Don
Posted: August 30th, 2021, 5:37pm Report to Moderator
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So, what are you writing?

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The Purple Elephant by Samuel Capper - Short, Drama - Casey loves her purple elephant, an imaginary friend called Jelly. But everything isn't quite as it seems… 8 pages - pdf format

Writer interested in feedback on this work



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AlexanderLR
Posted: September 10th, 2021, 5:18pm Report to Moderator
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Did kind of guess where it was heading but liked it all the same. Just a few things to improve on...

gunna should be gonna.

Come on Jelly, i know a great game we can play... (always three remember)

Headings should read...

                 INT. SITTING ROOM - DAY

Overall, easy to understand and emotional so well done. I did a short story a while back called Pink Primate about a girl with an imaginary friend but it was more of the horror genre. The girl's father doesn't like her having an imaginary friend (pink gorilla in a tu-tu named Betsy). Years later he discovers it's stalking him at the school he works at. Might revisit it in the future and flesh it out more.
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